cassandralyn

today seems like a things-fall-apart-the-center-cannot-hold sorta day so how about a timeline cleanse for you? this is absolutely the best thing you will watch at least this week

(via Matt Storer on IG)

There's so much to unpack -- his childish understanding of the world, his raw nerve of grievances, his sociopathy -- but I can't get past what a whiny, pathetic loser you'd have to be as president to stamp your little feet and cry that the media isn't "allowed" to be mean to you. Mom said so guys!

Many of us got exactly the wrong thing reinforced when, as kids, we were praised as "mature" or "good kids" for shutting down.

That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.

wild that MP3 is an audio file, MP4 is a video file, but MP5 is a submachine gun. Digimon-ass evolution line.

Alina Habba Busted For Unlawfully Serving The acting U.S. attorney for New Jersey was found by a federal judge to have held the role illegally — her term ended in July.

The acting U.S. attorney for New Jersey was found by a federal judge to have held the role illegally — her term ended in July.

Holy sh!t. The medical conspiracy theory now is that cancer helps the body fight toxins. This is so dangerous and people are believing her?!?!

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, the foxes are shown in an assortment of different situations, with Green narrating each scene. In the first one, Green is changing sheets. Green, narrating: I want to change your bedsheets because I love you. Next, Blue and Green are sitting at a table, with big ice cream dishes in front of them. The one in front of Blue has two decorative cookie sticks and a cherry on top, whereas Green's ice cream only has one cookie stick and no cherry. Green, narrating: I want you to have the nicer one because I love you. Then, the foxes are out shopping, carrying bags. Green, narrating: I want to buy you nice things because I love you. Then, in the final scene, Green sneaks up on Blue and licks the back of Blue's neck. Blue is wide-eyed and startled by this. Green: Narrating: I want to bug and annoy you forever because I love you.

Pritzker: "It's cheating. Donald Trump is a cheater. He cheats on his wives. He cheats at golf. And now he's trying to cheat the American people out of their votes."

The problem with my polyamorous friends is even after they get married you still have to meet their new boyfriend

I hear you. Sometimes it's life, sometimes it's brain gremlins. 💜

You are a fantastic human 💜

AS SOMEONE WHO FREQUENTLY TEXTS HIS WIFE HIS CURRENT ETA, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SALES PITCH?

Dating in your 40s includes dinosaur chicken nuggets.

Food dyes can only dream about harming as many people as our inequitable, profit-driven healthcare system.

Japan says powerful quake has hit near Russia’s Kamchatka Peninsula, issues a tsunami advisory Japan’s meteorological agency says that a powerful earthquake has hit near Russia’s Kamchatka Peninsula and issued a tsunami advisory for Japan.

BREAKING: A magnitude 8.7 earthquake triggers tsunami alert for Japan and tsunami warnings for portions of the U.S. West Coast, Alaska and Hawaii.

billionaires should be desperate to be taxed. something is going to happen to them, and 'taxed' is the best verb they can hope for at this point

gogglebobblog - Twitch gogglebobblog streams live on Twitch! Check out their videos, sign up to chat, and join their community.

HEY @gogglebob.com IS GONNA BEAT LUNAR TONIGHT COME WATCH OR DON'T IDGAF. www.twitch.tv/gogglebobblog

recent weekends: i'm sleep deprived and burning calories like mad. if it wasn't for all the unnecessary external stress, i'd be really happy with my lot in life right now.

South Park just annihilated Trump.

Oh boy.

Gotta love it. Paramount killed Colbert to placate Trump, paid South Park creators a ton of money, and they turn around and just mock him relentlessly.

Respect.

Good morning! I'm in Uganda to visit family and friends.

But depending on your perspective, don't worry or I'm sorry: I'll be back by the end of the month.

See you soon, NYC.

🌊🏄

Oh my God, Becky, look at this etymology, it is so interesting.

‘Booty’ meaning on💰is from the Middle Low German word ‘būte,’ meaning "distribution, share, plunder."

‘Booty’ meaning 🍑 is from an older English word meaning “buttocks,” later influenced by AAVE.

🫂

tomb = toom
womb = woom
bomb = boom (eventually)