foXYmoron 🏒🏳️‍⚧️🦝

title card for Squirrel King (Gamtec, 1995, Sega Genesis/Mega Drive)

screenshot of a level from Squirrel King (1995, Gamtek, Sega Genesis/Mega Drive)

did u know that in 1995, a company made a Sega Genesis knockoff of excellent NES game Chip-n-Dale's Rescue Rangers, and then gave it a name u might give to a drive-thru restaurant that exclusively serves ground rodents

I've eaten more Italian subs this calendar year than I have in my entire life before 2024

Man, say what you want about the devil, but that dude's got some good lettuce

It hurts

I never know what to do with my hands when someone’s kissing my girlfriend

Picture of car interior. Reads "SRS airbag". Trans folx unfortunately can only interpret this as "Sex Reassignment Surgery Airbag", which is as exciting as it is terrifying, and as terrifying as it is hilarious.

New bottom surgery just dropped

As someone who has participated in more than one autopsy I have to announce, sadly, that there is no groove in the heart.

I've invented BeanoDSM, which is like regular BDSM but you call me "Dad" and I whack you with a slipper

I don’t want to “do my best” I want to give a comfortable 60% and have time for my shows

it's friday baby

A Venus flytrap in a swampy environment in Empires of the Undergrowth

Hello Bluesky! We're Slug Disco, a small UK-based game studio making our first game Empires of the Undergrowth - an RTS about ants.

We publish a bunch of other nature games too.

Join us for Empires of the Undergrowth, Beetle Uprising, Ecosystem, Adapt & Horticular!

a gothic look gate sign that says slut cemetery

forget about Makeout Creek bury me here instead

The 90s have officially ended

Me hearing my child yell at his switch knowing full well he’s about to ask ME to beat that hard ass level 😒

Oh no

Being a detective is gay coded. Oh you've got a "partner"? You have a bunch of trauma? You're desperate to get the tea on this situation, and you've got a borderline unhealthy relationship with at least one drug?

That's homosexual behaviour.

Edgar Allan Poe really ruined it for anyone who just wants to show their bitter enemy something cool in a catacomb.

Imagine two birds having sex. Now imagine them squawking in ecstasy. What the fuck is wrong with you

The biggest lie movies ever taught me was that cops are smart and solve crimes.

I like this take because it correctly identifies that X is not even 4chan, it is 4chan's sadder, dumber little brother 9gag. Musk wishes X could be 4chan and it never will be

Epic Games cuts almost half of Bandcamp pre-Songtradr sale Ahead of being sold to Songtradr, Bandcamp's staff has reportedly been reduced to nearly half its current size by parent company Epic Games.

bandcamp is a pillar of the independent music scene. the ripple effects of epic's mishandling of the company will be felt by musicians and other artists for years www.gamedeveloper.com/business/epi...

There are no individual “gophers”—what humans perceive as numerous rodents is actually a single subterranean beast (spanning much of the Earth’s crust) with an endless number of flesh nodules that operate similarly to octopus tentacles, snaking out for nourishment then retreating.

Damn, even your actions are trans!

you're in her dms. i'm on her bank statement. we are not the same

I follow the 5 Xanax rule. *pressing finger to earpiece* I'm hearing it's supposed to be the 5 second rule. I've been doing it wrong all these years.

A 2 year old German Shepherd named Kirk