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I'm on Mastodon pretending everything is fine, which I'll probably use the most for the time being, idk. Hope everybody's well! Blah!

Hi everyone. I'm not dead, so sorry if I scared anyone with my sudden ghosting. My mental health is shit right now and the internet doesn't need to archive my paranoid withdrawal/lashing out at society. Also Bluesky sucks lately and I'm tired of the stupid fighting lol.

SASSY IN THE SHED

Booksmart on the streets and sweaty in the sheets

I'm only booksmart in the streets

YES!!!!!!!!!!

The cold feels insane I'm so excited for you! Just bundle up and the body weirdly gets used to it quickly!

tonight's aurora forecast showing a decent chance of aurora in the northern USA, but could extend further south

FYI folks, we have a decent chance of aurora tonight (Jan 19 to early hours of Jan 20) in the continental USA! There's a giant geomagnetic storm and I've linked the latest aurora forecast from the NOAA- they note if current conditions continue, the aurora oval may extend into northern Cali. 🔭🧪🎢

Mad Max names are so funny like here's my new baby! I've named him Scrotus - after me mum.

No it was anticlimactic and I witnessed an insane breakup I guess. Horses are repelled by that stuff :(

Lmao a cop called me back to give me the deets? I didn't think that was a thing?

I bet they were just relieved that it was me calling them for an actual reason and not because Dollarama was rude about me bringing my chemtrail literature into the store and dispersing it in strategic places.

Reading the leaked documents from the bank of England about how they'll go about handling the whole aliens being confirmed as real thing and it's so good! They're gonna get Mr. Bean guys and, oh man... Amazing!

There's two vehicles at the house 3 doors down so shit! I didn't think they lived on the block and now I'm like hmm, am I gonna get stabbed about this?

The only other time I called 911 I just came home from the bar drunk and a guy was killing a chick in our back alley then rolled under our minivan and the police dog had to come fish him outta there

Anyway, back to my raisin bran.

That was fast the Mounties have arrived get his ass fellas MAKE YOUR HORSES BITE HIS ARM

*shines a big flashlight on the street* NEIGHBOURHOOD WARTCH!!1

Dude is chasing a screaming woman out here and wouldn't stop even when I yelled at him wtf

Dude calling 911 when you're stoned sucks

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I somehow get my ass thrown in American jail for a "war crime"

Switching Greenland's flags with Canadian ones to gaslight Trump into thinking it was never a real country.

Lmaooo encasing that shit in resin and making it a heirloom

awww

He saw something scary and got up and started video game punching and I don't know if it was because I was stoned but holy fuck I loled

You know, what? I AGREE!

That Casper guy makes me laugh so hard with his personality!

I would because it is polite.

If a UFO touched down in front of you and a grey alien quickly scrambled out to hand you a sticky piece of onion, would you eat it?

I mean, aqua zumba made me and my coworkers too tired to try and kill each other the day after, so...