Ready Salted

Tradition is nigh: decorating the Christmas tree while watching Little Women (1994).

Omg yes

Good for you, goddammit! I'm proud of you.

Incognito browsing history wrapped 2025

Am I the only one whose Spotify listening age is coincidentally enough their actual age?

Writing down foods I miss eating after dental surgery like taking down names in a kill list.

"It tastes better when you fish it."

Art by Dogmo Comics

Panic! At The Sobriety Checkpoint

STG I thought this was Elijah Wood at first.

You mean vitamin N?

this is the location of one of my dead drops please don't post it on the internet

I've had enough of your cockamamie schemes. it's high time for cuntamamie schemes #feminism

Now available through Klarna.

What can't that woman do??

I read this in Jim Morrison's voice.

Look away!!

A listing from the Bergdorf Goodman website for a MARC JACOBS RUNWAY Padded Peplum Short-Sleeve Sweater, selling for $1,850.00 in the colour lilac. The model stands awkwardly in the sweater, a puffy crew cut collar, big puffy fabric rolls on the sleeves, and a hideous extra roll of fabric around the waist, as if she's smuggling a life preserver under there. For some god forsaken reason this top was paired with what appears to be beige corduroy pants cut in an oddly geometric and angular style, with large pointy darted protrusions emerging from the front of each hip.

The partial profile really sells it.

Haven't you ever asked yourself, how do I acquire more corners AND rolls? No?

that moment when you realize you’ve eaten more of something than you should have but there’s not enough left to leave for anyone else so it’s like ok here we go

Never go to bed angry.

Stay up all night getting angrier and angrier.

That bitch.

I, uh, need to know more about this slaw.

For science.

Chicken fingers? Chicken tenders? Let’s just make it easy and call them tender fingers

I'll still eat them all but I definitely prefer tempura to the breadcrumb variety.

Me, working on copyedits: Hi, sweetie! (as my dog tries to move my laptop with her face)

Me: Oh, I see. You want my lap? I could hold you if I tilted and did something terrible to my spine?

Dog: (climbs on lap)

Me, now working sideways.

Waking up my husband with my night terrors and screaming "Gandalf!" into the night.

Figuring out what to eat for dinner should not be this difficult

The absolute gall.

I cannot explain the heights of joy this post brings me, other than stating that it's on par with, nay, exceeding, the level of hatred I have for the original song.