Mx. Dahlia Belle

Every discussion had this year feels like something we had already resolved a decade ago.

Algebra was easy in Ancient Rome.

X = 10.

What follows is my attempt to sum up the whole of queer theory: I have gay sex. Class dismissed.

I'll be doing a Thanksgiving dinner crawl today, to make sure I make everyone's day a little more awkward.

Good morning, little friend 😍

YOOOOO!!!!! The homie @myqkaplan.bsky.social is dropping a new special to the YouTube this Wednesday. Check it out!

Not just in *your* book, but in fact.

It's getting darker earlier. So, don't forget to close your blinds, so people don't be looking up in your booty-hole. You gotta beware of booty-hole lurkers filling up booty with the evil eye 👁

The reason most people are unfamiliar with the distinction between pedophilia and hebephilia is because most people aren't pedophiles.

In the US, law enforcement isn't just legally allowed to lie to you, they're ENCOURAGED to. OTOH, your lawyer is legally prohibited from lying to you and can lose her license for it.

Which of those professions, though, do you reflexively associate more with lying?

You're not immune to copaganda.

It's trending for every polyamory podcast to rap their take on the ranking of humans, dinosaurs, and dogs and this whole thing is a bit derivative and pandering to the algorithm. But, ya know, just incase you were looking for the Amateurs take on the matter (full context in this week's ep):

I can never shake the feeling that a bisexual man with a pretty dick and bubble butt would solve 💯% of my problems

*I am ALWAYS accepting applications

But tell us how you really feel. No need to hold back, now.

Or sleeping

I have so many questions

LMAO (or is it "laughing my ass in," in this case) 😅

You ever stop and think, "Where did I leave that butt plug?" 🤔

Imma need all these bubble butt gay boys over on Instagram to log off, so I can be more productive 🥵

The Art of Sensual Sock Sharing Podcast Episode · PolyAmateur Hour · 11/04/2025 · 59m

THE ART OF SENSUAL SOCK SHARING. LEARN HOW TO SHARE SOCKS... SENSUALLY! FOR FREE. JUST TAKES 1 HOUR WHILE YOU DO DISHES OR WHATEVER. Ok, that's enough. #polyamory #socks #podcast podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/p...

My friend @daniel.kibblesmith wrote a book!

It’s called “SO YOU’VE BEEN BITTEN BY A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER: HOW TO SURVIVE THE MARVEL UNIVERSE” and it looks like this!

Daniel is super funny and smart and great and so is the book so I recommend it!

Enjoy!

Halloween is our annual reminder of how many of us would likely be taken out by a slutty witch or big dick alien vampire 👻

Do you suppose JD Vance ever fanatasizes about Charlie Kirk's neck while fucking Charlie Kirk's wife? 🤔

STOP DROP AND ROLL... with us. The world burns but at least we can have some laughs with @mxdahliabelle.bsky.social while we all choke on some titties. YES YOU HEARD US. Or rather can hear us here: open.spotify.com/episode/54NQ...

My favorite book of the Bible has always been Thisniggahere's 1st Letter to Them Niggas Over There. I always turn to them shits for inspiration 🙏🏿

These three things are true:

1. You should go to the rally.
2. You should practice good opsec just in case—even if you're a bunch of retirees milling about in a parking lot, it's good to practice.
3. You should talk to your neighbors and turn the energy into action that will carry past tomorrow.

My new comedy bio:

Some bitch. Something something Netflix. Jokes and politics. As seen on Piers Morgan. Voice on NPR. A couple podcasts. Fat ass. Mx. Dahlia Belle... cats, drugs, and booty-holes. Pay me.

I'm exclusively attracted to men secure enough in their masculinity to sustain eye contact while having sex with other men

Just keep fucking butts til everybody's gay 🍑💦

If Jesus lives, he's been ghosting us for 2000 years. Maybe take a hint.

Damn. I'm a transgender antifascist. Where are my terrorism checks? 🤑