Ivan Dilisnya

OH. My mistake. There's a time jump.

Strahd was 46.

I STILL have older bunions.

Kitiara's a poop joke.

I mean, she LITERALLY got pooped out of a wolf at one point.

Eat them even faster?

"Ah, me! A single gray hair! I FEEL THE COLD TOUCH OF THE GRAVE UPON ME!"

Jacqueline Montarri did the same thing at what, 25? Is this a Barovian thing?

Wait

@strahdvonz.bsky.social.

You turned when you were 42?

All that pissing and moaning about your age...AND YOU WERE 42?!

I have bunions that are older than 42!!!

...and now it feels like cardboard. I really should have seen that coming.

I've figured out how to circumvent my curse!

Acorn-fed Iberico salami.

With this mouthfeel, I don't even want to know what it tastes like. It can't be as good as what I'm imagining.

Ooh, that COULD be fun!

I want my Ivan silliness to be motivated by a spirit of play. That's why even reversing it to be a razor-sharp satire of Trusk--while it would be fun to read, and would certainly have its pleasures--would ultimately feel soul-killing. That's not pure play. In a way, it's still letting them take it.

Stream of consciousness just now:

-Guhh, yet another source of joy they're taking away.

-Wait, am I going to let them take this away from me? FUCK NO!

-...keeping this running solely out of spite would be a very darklord move.

-Which also means it probably isn't a psychologically healthy move.

What about a pineapple under the sea?

a cartoon of a baboon wearing a red shirt and tie ALT: a cartoon of a baboon wearing a red shirt and tie

What I really need is to find a way to play him that doesn't make me think of them at all. I hate thinking about them in my fun time.

Maybe I need to watch Kipo again. That's the answer to everything.

OOC:Been away from this account for a while. Roleplaying a petty, capricious, vindictive, plutocratic man-child isn't hitting the same as it used to.

I guarantee Ivan loves tariffs, though.

That was from you?

Lorenzo. Send Barov the special present. The very special one.

Mother. That would be Camille Dilisnya, wouldn't it?

Really, Ivana? If your parents are any indication, a Boritsi would never even make it to the coup because they'd be too busy with their Dilisnya gift baskets.

Then he'll get to fix it! It's the perfect gift!

What else are they for?

Not anyone of importance.

My birthday is almost here and I've already had to kill three party planners. Really, all I want is absolute perfection at all times. Is that so much to ask?

Are you copying my cousin, Azzie? There are much better trendsetters out there.

Why did you, of all people, get the sexy glow-up?

Mm. I, too, have seen Final Destination 2.

Are you sure? I don't even know what animals my chef is going to throw in this thing, or how cooked they'll be. Last time the polecat was downright bloody. It might be quite the treat for Strahd!

Is no lead, is no Blinsky!

Hmmm. Would she accept them?

I NEVER give cheeses to those meeces.

I thought you never drank....wine

I'm not exactly going to be the best judge of its flavor profile...

Oh, but Conte Scarlatti doesn't make nearly as funny a face if you serve him peasant gruel