Sturm von Zarovich (Parody Account)

a cartoon drawing of a monster with the words dcu perfect bits written below it Alt: a cartoon drawing of a monster with the words dcu perfect bits written below it

I think there is something wrong with that werewolf

When the going gets tough I call my wife because one might say she is a fighter and I am a cryer.

Little Girl in misty wood with a lantern

Sorry I got so caught up with Holiday things, Wishing you all a New Year full of possibilities.

Now to chase my youngest into the woods. Does she understand what is out there?

Rozalia once came home with a full Werewolf she named puppy. That was a mess...

Giselle's House rules, she is the only one allowed to shed blood in the living room because she needs to clean the carpet. She likes that carpet.

Without downloading any new pics what's your energy going into 2025

That was a fun time, which surprises me about going to hell.

My oldest son has moved out and is married. But I have Rozalia who is 6 I think... we keep having a birthday cake with a six on it so I assume so, and Dimitri is a teenager, I know because whenever I want to do anything with him he reminds me. Also thank you for the cookie.

I don't know about that but I use to have a pet rock named Mr. Fluffles and Strahd threw him at Sergei so father threw him out a window. Mr. Fluffles... I miss you...

Listen we're not talking about how you deal with your spouses and children here... Uhg... now I feel icky, you are the worst.

What does it smell like? Oh like recently sharpened pencils or fresh paper? I love those smells. Also in my family the middle brother always takes care of paper work and funds. Which I am not making my children do. Because I am a rebel... well not actually but some times I like to imagine.

Remember if you need to take your med take them, I did then forgot to make this post...

Anyways everyone take care of yourselves. Loving yourself helps you to help the ones you love.

She drew a picture of you with a flaming sword riding a horned horse with her riding on your shoulders and holding a septer.

I use to be Envious of you, so I think this makes us even. Also I insist you join us for family game night. Don't worry Strahd never shows up because he forgets I exist sometimes. It's been years since he sent me a Yule Card.

I would like that very much, unlike your other older brother I do drink wine.

And here I thought only me and dad could legally tell dad jokes. I guess that it helps when you decide what is legal, ha ha ha

Or get married to the daughter of a rich family to help fund dad's army, bond and fall over the hate of arranged marriages.

My wedding may have only been flashy because of Giselle's family's wealth but no one died.

It was great, until we found out Rozalia had taken leadership of the local children and was raising a child army to take dominion of the snacks and cakes. So we left quickly but everything else was lovely.

I think I am too dull for him. Ha ha ha, but seriously I will be careful.

Ohh... This Calls for a Spreadsheet Christmas Shirt

Giselle got me this, she knows me so well.

No, no very much alive, I did get a really bad paper cut the other day but I have since recovered.

Ah winter in Barovia, the dark and murky mold green of the forest replaced with the desolate whiteness of the falling snow, perfect time of year to bake cookies and sit around the fire.

And ya know hope we brought in enough wood so no one has to brave the werewolves.

Hey, if anyone likes slightly gonzo zombie western novels, I published mine on Kindle finally and you can get it here! a.co/d/fYMDqUf

I mean if you consider having a server case of ADHD and a happy marriage Normal in the context of my family I guess.

Still me and still the most dangerous things I want to deal with is stepping on lego and that racoon we found in the closet at the Barovian tax office. Some how he got a bigger Yule bonus then me...

Don't worry, I am the middle child so most people forget me. I am actually an account by trade, I have a lovely wife and two darling children.

My daughter made the cutest macaroni art piece with herself as a queen the other day... or an evil Dictator hard to tell with this family.