Greg Cantwell

It works if you’re making a game where you slice fruit on your phone, but it’s wholly unsuited for running a superpower.

Republicans in Congress, who spent the last few years investigating Hunter Biden’s eating habits, won’t lift a finger to look into this shocking breach of trust.

The war in Ukraine is very much like a home invasion—all that’s required for it to end is for the criminals to go home.

the twin towers of the world trade center are visible in a cityscape ALT: the twin towers of the world trade center are visible in a cityscape

Blaming Zelensky for starting the war is like blaming the Twin Towers for 9/11.

These guys are “originalists” except for whenever they find it convenient not to be.

I have asked myself this question 100 times, and I can’t think of a single thing.

Be fair. It’s more like two and a half months.

Top priorities for Congress:
1) Take back tariff power
2) Restrict ability to fire
3) No insider trading
4) Codify Emoluments
5) Term limits
6) Sure up NATO

Well, they’re succeeding…

Trés jolie!

Wow, Petey OT catching strays. Who’d a thunk?

ernie from sesame street is wearing a striped shirt and orange gloves ALT: ernie from sesame street is wearing a striped shirt and orange gloves

I’m old enough to remember Republicans calling Obama a dictator because he tried to make health insurance more affordable. Can’t imagine what they’d have done if he said he might run for a 3rd term.

Tariffs are revenue the government brings in from Americans. Which by definition makes them taxes.

What do we think he stores in the safe?
A) Guns
B) Old iPhone cases
C) Trophies from his victims

Serious question: If Trump *was* a Kremlin asset, what would he be doing differently? I can’t think of a single thing. Can you?

Good. Their stupidity wasn’t helping.

Yep

Bite-Sized Book Reviews: "A Garden of Earthly Delights" by @joycecaroloates.bsky.social begins with a literal bang, as a truckload of migrant workers crashes into a hog truck. A fascinating study of three generations of the Walpole family, all burdened by their own defects and flaws. Two thumbs up.

You knew this was coming. It’s hard to express how much other automakers dislike Tesla.

Plus, their fugly as shit.

It didn’t end well for Il Duce…

a man is pointing at a statue of a man in a mask in a garage . ALT: a man is pointing at a statue of a man in a mask in a garage .

Putin looks at Trump the way Zed looked at the gimp.

This is the way to go.

Bite-Sized Book Reviews: "The Talented Mr. Ripley" by Patricia Highsmith has an amazing premise—Tom Ripley is so dissatisfied with his own life that he decides to steal someone else’s. Your head will spin as Tom is forced to spin an ever wider web of lies to cover his murderous trail. Two thumbs up.

The 14th Amendment was written at a time when MASSIVE numbers of immigrants were pouring into the United States. If Congress didn’t want the citizenship clause to apply to their children, the text would have made that clear.

You know the old saying, "A lie can make it halfway around the world before the truth even gets its shoes on."

Bite-Sized Book Reviews: "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. A self-help book written for an audience of one—the Emperor of Rome. The kicker? It was written by the Emperor himself. His Stoic wisdom in a nutshell: Put your focus on the present, be a good person and accept your fate. Two thumbs up!

The economy you inherited was “remarkable” according to the Wall Street Journal and “the envy of the world” according to the Economist. So, cut the gaslighting, jerkoff.

Also—Darth Vader had a cool voice and Elon sounds like a Helpdesk guy who's been sniffing glue all day.