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Today’s Mindfulness Practice is imagining the sounds made by various celebrities as they take Poison Damage

Stone eater gf posting IG stories of remote road cuts with “omgggg 😍😋🤤”
Stone earter bf who just wants to take home from the quarry

Petitioning to expand the categories to include to State Flightless Bird and State Talking Bird

You’re wearing your lanyard for premium vehicle access

PG&E Presents the final episode of "Whattaya Think Would Happen?" - Discharging a Capacitor the Size of a Trash Can

Ordering Waffle House hash browns “growing” so they’re served on a bed of Great Stuff Expanding Foam Sealant

THAT
HAT

Bliss

library garden little guys

fr fr elated

The term MP3 originated in Tudor England when, desiring portable music, Henry VIII would send for My Players 3

GameFaqs > Grocery Store > Trivia

You aren’t allowed into the room behind the dairy case because employee characters spawn from there

I sneak a couple in my cheek, then play mancala for money

A well placed comma makes this very ominous

all my homies say "I'unno what do you wanna do?"

huffing audibly then asking the CD store guy for "I mean like the negation of World Music"

Two hens in a nesting box smushed together, one is laying very flat

Flat Friends Friday

I’m using the OutputChunkHandler in WipeScript

They installed facial recognition cameras at the intersection to issue a ticket if you’re unmoisturized

asking the uber driver to open the moonroof so there's space for my dunce cap

I hate it when whoever used the lactation pod before me sprayed their milk all over the walls and ceiling and didn’t even bother to to wipe it off

I pin a shirt to my screen door so any visitors on my stoop think I’m dressed

At the dealership negotiating for a trade-in offer on a city bus

I’m pinned to the wall by the blast of my Dyson fan after drinking a Potion of Waif

Will I able to understand the plots of the commercials if I haven’t see Lincoln Lawyer first?

Asking Jesus to explain why his footprints veered away from mine towards a Margaritaville Destination Restaurant

Yep table for 4 and we’ll need two high chairs. After three beers I’ll be walking around the restaurant talking in my giant voice while wearing them as shoes