Jonny

Also what I scream at the captcha questions that ask me to 'select the crosswalks and faucets'

Jenrick is the fake Facebook nostalgia account made flesh.

"Who remembers playing hot potato with white dog turds in the middle of the street while steam engines rolled past blasting God Save the Queen?"

Can't believe you're allergic to dolphin spritzes 🐬

That's tonight's anxiety dream sorted. Thanks 😄

Wonder if people in the massive online gambling industry have similar moral predicaments

Sender: "AI: write me a page about these talking points"

📧📧📧📧📧📧📧📧📧📧📧

Reader: "AI: summarise this page into talking points"

I'm "I sent my skinny fit jeans to the charity shop because they make my knees hurt" years old

The solution is to use 2 AIs and ask the other one if the first is going to lie to you

Never watched non-celebrity traitors before. Hope we get to see some outtakes at the end where everyone pisses themselves laughing after doing their best 'serious' faces 🤞

🔵 Conservatives say wrong thing.
🇬🇧 Reform says wrong thing is not wrong enough.
🌹Labour says they understand why people want to do the wrong thing.
🟠 Lib Dems say wrong thing is wrong but from a zip wire so nobody can hear them.

🟢 Greens say wrong thing is wrong.

Not that difficult, is it?

Just got back off the school run and, my torso is the perfect temperature but my arms are a bit hot...
Is it gilet time?

On a much smaller scale, our primary school did a similar thing with iPads. Get the kids hyped up they're all getting iPads BEFORE telling the parents that we'll be paying for them.
Emotional blackmail

Was sitting at home with my Vodafone fibre, Vodafone work phone and Vodafone personal phone, thinking I maybe should have hedged my bets a bit more.

Fantastic news that living hostages have finally been freed. Bet there will be a fair few 'security researchers' keen to take a look at that computing equipment tho.

Last patch for Win 10 22h2 is issued tomorrow, which means in reality, your PC is secure for at least another month anyway.

Each time a u turn comes, it discredits the "why we absolutely HAVE to do this" justifications provided by the ministers a little bit more. I'm all for changing plan if the facts change, but if every policy just ends up being "actually we were just testing the waters" then people will stop listening

Me, having trained for 16 weeks for Yorkshire marathon: "Feeling fittest I've ever been! 💪 "
My 9yo daughter, grabbing my arm: "Daddy, you feel like jelly"
Still some way to go then 🤦‍♂️

In honour of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand.

Boot device not found

Pretty stark example of how easy it would be for some people with bad motives to show similar footage to DJT of streets burning and 'Antifa' terrorism.

To think that the whole world is counting on a kid to say out loud that The Emperor is stark bollock naked

Not seen it before but impressed by the FIBRE OPTIC CONVERTER high tech computer wizardry so will stick with it. And real actual UB40!

People have a lot of bad things to say about Laurence Fox but he's given me some great dinner ideas over the years

If anyone knows the secret sauce that determines if my kids need dragging out of bed, to get dressed and to eat breakfast vs today where they got up, got dressed and were sitting at the table eating breakfast when I got downstairs then I'd be eternally grateful, thanks🙏

Just get on with Digital ID cards. Look at EU, rip it off or collaborate. Do it properly, and roll it out.

Part of Russell T Davies' speech on being awarded Outstanding Contribution to Television at the Bafta Cymru awards. (via www.instagram.com/baftacymru)

Also, this is the boring tedious stuff that's made for optimising with machine learning.
"Tell me when the green bike disappears from the video" etc etc

"I'll try that method after I've watched through the video..."

What makes me more annoyed is that you have people before their life in politics, talking sense and making bold statements, that once they've been homogenised and sanitised by the party machine, they're but a hollow shell of the person you voted for

OMG I had that eclipse T-shirt!
Top photo 👍