mehhhhh

I realized my crush has the same personality as my mom and got the ick

Hayley Williams is so me because what do you mean we’re both dealing with the most avoidant people ever

the average American would rather get pancaked by a Ford F150 than see one (1) person experiencing homelessness

I don’t care about things like “stats” or “wins.” I only care if my owner is making a significant ROI on the purchase of my franchise.

Me every time I see a photo of two small animals together and think “me and who”

Amy Poehler is running rings around the current SNL cast and she was probably never the undisputed top performer of her era lol

Matt LaFleur parking the bus and playing haramball in Dallas to secure a well-earned point.

Solid point away from home. Away days like this are key in the title race.

Pep playing with a big #9 and a big keeper bad with the ball at his feet, then parking the bus at the Emirates. You die a hero or live long enough to become Mourinho.

“We can win any game,” says manager after losing the only game they have played so far

Theyre playing Temperature at this cafe at 9am. Simply way too early in the morning for Sean Paul.

The third act of Superman:

irish chappell roan unfortunately

You want me to have a kid. The thing that killed Oedipus’s dad.

4th in England. Best in the world. You’ll never sing that.

It’s Joãover

Referring to João Pedro solely as Big Joe Peter

Have PSG just decided not to defend the wings?

DAZN has just shown multiple ads in the middle of the game. Jail.

Corporate Greed so intense it somehow becomes anti capitalist

Chelsea winning the Club World Cup without a shirt sponsor is hilarious

America is really getting anime pharmaceutical ads from Vanda before universal healthcare

It’s clearly a Samson situation where Palmer’s talent is all wrapped up in having a terrible haircut

Acid Trip FIFA Half Time Show

Chelsea just love winning international cups while finishing 4th or worse in the league

(I rush across the audience boundary onto the Wimbledon court)

*I start beatboxing*

“Put that Sinner in Alcatraz, Alcaraz!”

(Security delivers a haymaker to my cranium that puts me in a coma)

Manifesting Paige Bueckers to the Liberty in 2029

Take me down to the Orc City where the ale is green and the elves are pretty

Can The NY Times hack Hinge so I can see Zohran’s profile and learn how he scored his wife? At least do something useful.

Watching Andor for the first time. It’s crazy how the discourse about this show is like “this is a deep and nuanced piece of leftist media” and each episode’s plot is basically “Diego Luna steals a TIE Fighter Looney Tunes-style.”