mehhhhh

Theyre playing Temperature at this cafe at 9am. Simply way too early in the morning for Sean Paul.

The third act of Superman:

irish chappell roan unfortunately

You want me to have a kid. The thing that killed Oedipus’s dad.

4th in England. Best in the world. You’ll never sing that.

It’s Joãover

Referring to João Pedro solely as Big Joe Peter

Have PSG just decided not to defend the wings?

DAZN has just shown multiple ads in the middle of the game. Jail.

Corporate Greed so intense it somehow becomes anti capitalist

Chelsea winning the Club World Cup without a shirt sponsor is hilarious

America is really getting anime pharmaceutical ads from Vanda before universal healthcare

It’s clearly a Samson situation where Palmer’s talent is all wrapped up in having a terrible haircut

Acid Trip FIFA Half Time Show

Chelsea just love winning international cups while finishing 4th or worse in the league

(I rush across the audience boundary onto the Wimbledon court)

*I start beatboxing*

“Put that Sinner in Alcatraz, Alcaraz!”

(Security delivers a haymaker to my cranium that puts me in a coma)

Manifesting Paige Bueckers to the Liberty in 2029

Take me down to the Orc City where the ale is green and the elves are pretty

Can The NY Times hack Hinge so I can see Zohran’s profile and learn how he scored his wife? At least do something useful.

Watching Andor for the first time. It’s crazy how the discourse about this show is like “this is a deep and nuanced piece of leftist media” and each episode’s plot is basically “Diego Luna steals a TIE Fighter Looney Tunes-style.”

Hinge needs a Goth Girl setting

congrats to Zohran. And to the people using this to break no contact with their exes.

The reason I’m bullish on the Pacers is that every championship team needs a guy who looks like he just ended his shift at H&R Block and suited up for the game.

OKC Thunder down 2-1

Watching Dopesick and an Ozempic ad comes up. You’d think they wouldn’t buy inventory for a show about corrupt prescription drug companies

The Bushwick motto:

blasting cigs with Sophie Thatcher would fix me

The like button on her insta story calls to me like the Green Goblin mask

Christ, he can’t even post right.

Kaitlyn Dever is going to absolutely rule in The Last of Us season 3 and I’m so ready for it