Colin MacKenzie

Magazine tip: Convince your neighbours that you are having hot dogs for tea by opening the kitchen windows, frying up some onions and shouting out "How many hot dogs do you want?" to imaginary guests. Phillipa Mathers, Bath

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Good man.

Is there a risk it's just a rock that has blacked up?

Why are spiders entering my home with a 35p household ingredient that they hate?

The flatal ovation was thunderous at Murrayfield. Heartwarming.

I guess that trend’s over, then.

Fucking ruined South Pacific when they changed that to be about dames.

Bob from Twin Peaks

Because one of them has Gladys Knight's fags.

Crisps.

Glasgow Central to Paisley Gilmour Street takes 10 minutes. Even on a slow train, that's an alarming tight attempted suicide to winching turnaround.

And the song, I think, details getting off with a really drunk person who has just been physically restrained from throwing themself from a moving train. So that's quite something.

I work primarily in the style of a man lightly shamed for knowing what greengages are.

Post a song from the year you turned 12. www.youtube.com/watch?v=60wQ...

It's not a holiday - you're not going to get paid! Mad fuckers.

Oh, so that’s what The 1975 sound like.

We have ways of making you toast.

Good to see Peter Howson back on the tools.

I Don't Want to Spoil Chapatis #BeatlesBread

Falmouth Electrics Half Man Half Biscuit · All Asimov And No Fresh Air · Song · 2025

Adam Curtis chose a bad week to try and teach us anything ventriloquism open.spotify.com/track/5uBmlQ...

Apples rotting in an old school desk; a dart board on fire near a toothpick farm - a newt on holiday in Tangiers ...

Similar, but Flavor Flav.

Yes. That’s the bunny.

Some people who have crawled through barbed wire on a French beach forced to finally face Toploader, there.

People who wear rucksacks at gigs to be dragged behind a horse.

List five famous people you’ve met, but ONE is a lie.

1. Flavor Flav
2. Archbishop Desmond Tutu
3. Alan Bean
4. Nicolaus Copernicus
5. Sonia

Never not delighted when #totp shows one of the Roxy Music videos where Ferry looks like he’s sat on one of his own balls.

A car’s brake lights seen through my front door.

But soft, what light through yonder window?

Brakes.

Asked ChatGPT to write lyrics for the @channel4news.bsky.social them tune. Shite. Didn’t rhyme Matty Frei with Chinese spies once.

The two closest to the camera discussing the admittance of NBA players for the Barcelona Olympics and the formation of the United States’ “Dream Team”, no doubt.