Stephanie

a panic attack is just ur brain thinking about nothing at a million miles per hour

She is like the moon—
only at her brightest when surrounded by darkness.

I can never forgive you for what you did, but I still love you—and I hate that I do.

in addition to birth stones each month should have a birth cheese

Scene from the movie Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones is navigating the laser beam system to avoid tripping an alarm

Me, heading into the crawl space ONCE AGAIN to find out which pipe is leaking this time

Yes I’m religious, I believe in the holy trinity

Yes I'm religious. I believe in the holy trinity

RIP Val Kilmer 1959 - 2025

Sigh I really wish this were an April Fools Joke

Val Kilmer

RIP Doc, Iceman, Batman 😭

I can’t believe I just blew all my drinking money on rent.

Having a crush after 35 is so embarrassing. Just take a pottery class.

Someone, somewhere, is judging you right now.

[vulture after eating my corpse]
wooo pretty drunk rn

HERE FOR GOUT, NOT CLOUT.

Just now realizing how much of a humblebrag coming out of your cage AND doing just fine is.

Whenever I hear an old person say "thank you young man" I instinctively stick my hand out in hopes of getting a Werther's Original

"I'd rather be asleep and not sick instead of awake and sick and playing Wordle at this hour." - Me

#Wordle #Wordle1368 #Tuesday

Wordle 1,368 2/6

⬛🟨🟨⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

When I’m dating one- I kiss him often

Flashback Friday: 13 years ago, I drove from Albuquerque to Pie Town, New Mexico. It wasn't Pi Day, but it didn't need to be. EVERY day is Pie Day, and it was delicious.

#NewMexico #Albuquerque #PieTown #pie #pi #pieday #piday #everyday #FlashbackFriday #Friday

Girl
You're
In
The
Wrong
Place
😊

I am headed to Canada for business.

Please have a standard issue moose saddled and ready for my arrival.

Slow burn girl in an instant gratification world.

It's so hard to hold the leash, dog poop bag and phone flashlight all at once at 5:45 am, let alone gracefully. I don't know why I am aiming for gracefully at that point though when I can't achieve it under much easier circumstances

Hate to break it to y’all, but eventually… we’re gonna have to do something.

Idiocracy was meant to be a movie.

That’s all.

My life is really like an episode of "Mad Men."

(Just the drinking whiskey in the afternoon part.)

Took a couple days off from shitposting for mental health but then I ended up looking at the news more which was way worse for my mental health so I guess I won't make that mistake again you guys.