Dead Jackie Walking

Sometimes my daughter’s bus running late works out okay because I get to see the Fat Boys on TV while we’re waiting

Heads up that John Waters is going to be interviewed on WBEZ in the next hour.

You’re welcome.

Today is cosplay day at work so I came in dressed as Joey Ramone, grabbed the mic and yelled “1234 1234”.

Nobody got it…until I referenced the Simpsons episode w/Mr. Burns’ birthday and then my coworkers were all like “ohhh yeah”

Sometimes it’s lonely being one of the only ppl here in my late 50s

I still have one of their sweaters in my attic

In an hour and a half, I become the parent of a grown-ass adult. I’m just as amazed as you are that anything dependent on me has made it to 21 years old alive and not in need of trauma therapy.

I can’t attend the march in Chicago bc my husband has OT and it’s too much for my autistic daughter whom I can’t leave home alone. Instead, I donated a bus ticket to send someone in DC in my place. Plus, heard of a protest in Rosemont that is manageable enough where my daughter and I can both go.

Watch me show up to Saturday protests dressed up as anything but a frog and be all like the only person who comes in costume to a regular party

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

Drunken bro conga line.

No amount of esteemable action I can take today will make me prouder of myself than finding a one-star review of cookie icing I wrote last year entitled “people think it’s funny but it’s really cold and runny”

Listening to one of those old radio game shows where the host announces the name of the contestant and their full address and I’m thinking it’s funny that doxxing was already a thing in 1945

Rando acquaintance: “So when does your daughter finish college?”

Me: “She doesn’t go to college. She’s high needs autistic.”

RA: “Wow. Must have been hitting the Tylenol pretty hard when you were pregnant.”

Me: “Why, what did your mom take when you were in utero? Extended Release asshole?”

As opposed to children who are circumcised late? If you’re going to do it, when the hell else are babies supposed to get circumcised?

Signed, the mom of an uncircumcised child with autism

PS: she’s female, but since we’re being jackasses about the cause of the disorder, I might as well “go
there”

Dear Grim Reaper: if you have to play the claw game today you know to push the joystick away from Dolly Parton and toward the big orange shitgibbon in the White House, right?

Due to a lack of companion care for my daughter, I did Kol Nidrei services online. In his sermon at the congregation I streamed, the rabbi mentioned Orange Shitgibbon and called Kirk’s shooting a horrible tragedy. Suffice it to say I’ll be watching services, and making a donation, elsewhere tomorrow

Realest shit I’ve heard all day

Subtly downgrade a band

Demitasse Spoon

My cows say Fuck Trump

My husband got one so-called “joke” in with me about Tylenol this morning. So I am telling you the same thing I said to him in response: I WOULD PLAY ME VERY CAREFULLY WHEN MAKING LIGHT OF TYLENOL AND AUTISM.

In fact, I would venture to say you should just keep your mouth shut on the issue.

I was this many years old when I found out there’s such a thing as Hobo Chess

Practicing my death stare to reply to the first person who finds out my daughter is autistic and asks me whether I took Tylenol during my pregnancy.

Trump previews ‘amazing’ autism announcement Monday | CNN President Donald Trump’s speech at Charlie Kirk’s memorial service on Sunday took a detour into previewing an announcement he plans to make from the Oval Office on Monday about autism.

Bracing myself for even more idiot questions from strangers about what caused my daughter’s autism as well as asshole assumptions i didnt totally rawdog migraines during my pregnancy

www.cnn.com/2025/09/21/h...

Chicago Public Schools really needs to not send me letters of direct admission along with a blank list of colleges that will accept my intellectually impaired daughter. It’s dehumanizing to her, and it just makes Mommy want to cry.

Spooky season kicks off tonight, just waiting for makeup and costume to work their magic

Don’t let them get away with anything!

AITA? Yeah but only for spending $7.50 on a donut

Signed on to Discord for work-related stuff, but what the hell. As long as I’m there, you may as well follow me at 2cowcats.

My MIL called tonight in a distressed state about orange shitgibbon sending Nat Guard into Chicago. “Some of those soldiers don’t even want to be there. They signed up thinking they’d be working in a different country, not in the US defending the President.”

“Then why did they vote for him?” says I

I may make a special trip to Park Ridge. Really miss them from when they were on NW Highway though

Well, we tried. Website closing 9/7, Park Ridge store end of September. Creatives, nerds, geeks, bong makers and regular old fans of just weird odds and ends will be all the poorer. 😢

I wish I was in public when the Taylor Swift engagement dropped on Insta. Like it would have been funny if I was on the bus or something and everyone gasped all at once and I said real loud, “What, did they bring the McRib back already?”