Scott Klosterman

Weird how MAGA always accuses the previous administration of weaponizing the government and then weaponizes it themselves using actual weapons.

whole meeting could’ve been one of those fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: emails from your uncle about Obama’s birth certificate

Says the guy running the country already in it.

bringing some real pick-me girl energy to this rapture thing

The company that made the Lion King is about to hear it from the Lyin' King.

just received a notification from amazon that fascism has arrived and is on my doorstep

So much easier to boycott Disney when you can’t afford a subscription.

charlie has posthumously given her permission to speak and work outside the home

she seems nice

don't have the brain processing power to understand what the fuck is wrong with these people

Matter of time before we're told King Yam Tits played a round of golf and shot an 18.

Let's just scrap the 1st amendment and make the 2nd amendment the new 1st. It's the only one they care about anyway (except the 5th, they love invoking that one).

Charlie Kirk was a champion of free speech and anyone who says otherwise will be fired

has to be a forgery, he's never picked up a book his whole life

National Guard members are ready for action, just waiting for their mulching orders.

You wouldn't think there are any 11-word sentences that say absolutely nothing but just heard a passing stranger utter these actual words from his actual mouth: "At the end of the day it is what it is."

good news all your unused thoughts and prayers automatically roll over to the next mass shooting

goddamnit pumpkin spice, not yet, not fucking yet

Thanks a lot, sandwich thrower. Now I can't purchase a footlong at Subway without passing a background check.

Do the right thing here Subway and give this man free subs for life.

trump goons with guns, I feel safer already

poor widdle timmy, maybe mommy can walk you to your car

The good news I can now call in sick with polio and my boss has to believe me.

He’ll have you know it was Christian porn

Saw “Toy Story 2 was okay” scrawled into the wall above a urinal a few weeks back and I still think about it every day. The understated ambivalence really captures the zeitgeist of our time.

fit him for a cankle monitor

I just hope to live long enough to see trump wearing a cankle monitor

In terms of files, I'd rank Epstein's at #3, right behind Rockford and X.

Probably just me but seems like having a known fascist form a third party that’s slightly less fascist than the fascist party we already have to compete against our other fascist-enabling party may not be the answer to defeating fascism.

tonight’s hot dog shitting contest gonna be lit