James L. Sutter

I haven't figured it out, btw. I think I've got some decent accomplishments, and I feel like a failure constantly. But you know what helps? It's not grinding harder—it's playing music, and snuggling my wife, and camping with friends...

Time is short, friends. Let's do our best to enjoy it.

That voice that says you're not enough will never be satisfied. So we have to figure out how to get comfortable in our imperfection, to stop being so results-oriented (beyond what's necessary to live, of course) and just do things because we value the doing, not the accomplishment.

It's so easy to feel like a failure—to keep moving your own goalposts. You can achieve a lifelong dream like publishing a novel, and a voice will whisper "yeah, but it wasn't a bestseller." You can get in shape, but the voice will whisper "I don't see abs."

The problem isn't you—it's that voice.

Haha, nice! I was just listening to "The Days of the Phoenix" yesterday and reminiscing.

You're not being graded. You do not, as Mary Oliver says, have to be good. You don't have to get shredded or optimize your habits or pursue your dreams with singleminded determination.

Your friends don't care what you accomplish, only how you make them feel. So just be kind. Including to yourself.

*immediately googles to see if there's AFI news*

True, not everybody deals with it maturely. :P

But most of what I see in midlife folks around me is a hard but ultimately accurate recognition that the plan they thought would carry them through the rest of their life in fact needs some tweaks... which seems perhaps unsurprising in retrospect? 🤷‍♂️

"Midlife crisis" has such negative connotations, but now that I'm an adult and around them more, a lot of them seem like a really healthy, necessary life phase—folks looking around and realizing that certain problems won't get better on their own, and they need to take charge of their happiness.

Google Photos being like "Remember THIS moment? 🥰🥰🥰" and it's a photo of a mole on your ass that you took to send to the dermatologist.

oh NO 😂

For real. 😬

Listen, I'm not one to romanticize the past, but we're absolutely the first generation to know the terror of accidentally initiating a video call while doomscrolling on the toilet.

Oh yes.

Opening your work laptop to find the tab you left open was an image search for "barnacle penis."

The glorious life of a game designer!

A bag of Haribo Labre Larver candy, with the tagline "luk op for noget godt..."

Toffee-covered licorice that looks like grubs. I don't speak Danish, but I'm pretty sure that tagline means "God has turned his gaze from us..."

CHOOSE YOUR ROMANCE: Supernatural Sapphic Seduction (over the cover of THE GHOST OF US) or Band Bro Enemies to Lovers (over the cover of DARKHEARTS). Then, below it: "(Who am I kidding? You should definitely buy them both.)"

Need some queer young adult rom-coms for your summer reading? jameslsutter.com/novels.html

I know everyone jokes about their parents and technology, but my father-in-law just accidentally sent me a text in what appears to be Cuneiform.

ME: Hello, gorgeous wife!

WIFE: Your gorgeous wife is shedding gorgeous dandruff.

ME: Shall I compare thee to a winter's day?

Agreed. 😆

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"The ancient Egyptian crocodile god Sobek."

"The ancient Egyptian crocodile god Sobek who?"

"The ancient Egyptian crocodile god Sobek who was also a fertility deity, SO BEK THAT ASS UP 🍑🔥🐊"

Just learned that one of the common epithets for the ancient Egyptian god Sobek literally translates to "He Who Eats While He Fucks."

Religions just don't go as hard as they used to.

🥁😆

Ha! Yes!

lol

Screenshot of a conversation: DAVID: There's a church in Redwood City called Messiah Lutheran. Today I drove by and saw a sign "Messiah Parking Only." I found that very, very funny. JAMES: Lol. Thou shalt not take the Lord's space in vain.

"I'm doing a good job managing my anxiety" I think to myself for the seventh time as I lie awake at 4:00am.

Welp. Couldn't have seen that one coming. Good job, kids. 🫡

Much like companies use recycling to make packaging waste the responsibility of the consumer, it feels like many modern politicians use citizen activism as a way to avoid taking responsibility.

"Did you call your reps about X?" How about I vote for them, and they friggin' *take care of things*?

Me: "Shit, I better call my reps about preventing nuclear war."

*pause*

"...wait a second, how the hell did it become *my* job to prevent nuclear war?!"

Cozy room in a home with tons of plants - rooms & shares - apartment room roommate share rent - craigslist Looking for two housemates to jump in on an amazing opportunity for affordable rent in the heart of Beacon Hill, near Jefferson Park, near The Station coffee shop, near the actual light rail station.....

SEATTLE: If you're looking for cheap rent and shared housing in a sweet part of Beacon Hill, my friend's got a room for you.

seattle.craigslist.org/see/roo/d/se...