blackle mori

finished reading good-bye to all that today

feels like how a promise makes a promise in the process of making a promise

part of my belief is that the real is valuable to you, despite its apathy/antipathy toward you, because it functions logically. there is a basis of objectivity that could, in theory, be agreed upon, should everyone be permitted to share their view of the world and those views and needs and wants make their way to the people who need to hear them. generated images, even if not made with the intent to deceive, still suck because they are drawn from a statistical distribution of all possible "real" worlds. not *our* real. this excessively muddies our relationship to this difficult but consistent reality we find ourselves in. one of my fears is being lost in a mushy world of instantaneous, reactionary dream-imagery, never sure if anyone or anything I'm interacting with has its own interiority or is merely a figment, established for a brief moment, to sate some desire I have

as a nontheist a core part of my understanding of the world is that we only have each other. this universe we live in is a machine. asking if the universe "cares" is meaningless. our existence is incidental and the only way to survive this is by holding each other up. if we alienate ourselves from this fact, turning ourselves into perfectly content and happy islands, I really do feel that we'd be doomed. if we want to be happy I think we need to be happy together

I don't believe that happiness is meaningless without suffering because I don't believe happiness and suffering are opposites. nor do I believe that all suffering is the same. there is a dismal suffering that destroys, gives you nearly nothing, that empties you out. let us rally against this. and then there is the suffering against the world in your mission to make something new into reality. there is suffering that reveals something to you. when someone else suffers, you feel an empathetic suffering too. suffering can give us stuff. it can also take it away, but so can happiness. I'm sure there are certain kinds of happiness that empty a person out.

we ought to nurture our multitudes and the multitudes of other people. it's tricky and probably impossible. but I think we ought to allow that to be something to strive for. if you give yourself an impossible task, you will never be bored in your life.

hm. yeah, I'm calling it. my objections to AI are partially religious in nature (cross-posted thread from fedi)

Hey all, looking for work.

I'm a senior developer in Toronto with experience in Golang and Identity/Security. if someone knows of an org providing remote work, please let me know. Thanks!

I suppose from the outside it looks like I'm living an ascetic lifestyle what with my soda waters and library books and teetotalism but if you look closer you'll find that my humours are nonetheless severly imbalanced and my sense of judgement permanently impaired by flights of fancy and fey whims

I think we ought to start sending each other physical letters

it varies, just as most things do when it comes to the human body and all our beautiful differences

shocked that my toad had such difficultly navigating around the fallen tree in the marsh. agog of my frog's bog log slog

anatomically modern humans were outmoded in the 2500s by anatomically postmodern humans. these so-called "posts" were distinguised from their predecessors by the presence of either a yaoi hole or a prehensile clitoris. usually both

allow yourself the liberty to dream even bigger, even stranger and cuter. you're in good company with this world

I don't talk about QCC a lot here because I want to keep that part of my life separate. but it is like, 30% of my life at the moment. 1/3rd job, 1/3rd community, 1/3rd personal, I guess

having straightforward labour to do like balancing the books and cleaning the space is also good. small, easy wins

like seriously. my anxiety clings to things and makes them scarier than they actually are. "coming clean" about those things (e.g. making a small mistake on our financial report to the membership) and getting a "well, thanks for fixing it I guess" in reply fr helps a lot. a reality check, I guess

what has staved off the burnout so far is seeing people react with almost total apathy every time I come to director meeting with a BROKEN THING THAT NEEDS FIXING OR ELSE EVERYONE WILL HATE US!!!!1!

there are times when the stress is at its peak where you start mistrusting your own judgment. like, "what is so wrong with me and my decision-making that I *signed up* for this??"

it seems easy from the outside, but that's only because in order to make people feel comfortable being emotionally invested in the project, you have to project an image of ease.

running the hackerspace for the last 2.5 years has given me a stronger appreciation for cohost. it is hard to articulate just how viscerally scary it is to be operationally responsible for something that people like.

it's like my body becomes overloaded and I can't take it anymore. it is a joy up until that point. maybe this is just my first proper experience with overstimulation

it is totally my vibe, and yet I have not so far been able to successfully endure even half of its runtime

microwave popcorn is such a cute detail of our world. it's a shelf-stable snack that is sold in a form factor that more resembles a small booklet than anything else you'd find in a pantry. to prepare, you place it inside a special "reheater" box in your home whose historical lineage comes directly from the telecommunication technology of a "world war" that killed tens of millions. the *second* world war, to be clear. the small paper envelope of kernels expands in the span of two minutes into a bag full of white, fluffy, buttery popcorn. then you eat it. it is also associated with movies.

i built an entire x86 CPU emulator in CSS (no javascript)

you can write programs in C, compile them to x86 machine code with GCC, and run them inside CSS

lyra.horse/x86css/

my tshirt that says "qualia is the centre of my religious experience" unfortunately does not, itself, answer questions about the huge cum stain splashed across it

white card: "the ineffable experience of experience itself and the opaque qualia-making process at action just past the barrier of your encrypted true mind"

black card: "help me doctor! I've got _____ in my butt!"

can an agentic workflow help me decide what the world *ought* to be when we only have access to what it *is*?

I've seen! is good!

there's a lot about writing that one could examine as a kind of "gameplay." using invented words which the reader slowly builds an understanding of is a challenge which rewards you with understanding. presenting bewildering events and slowly revealing the motivations of the characters can be as engaging as a challenge. I feel that there are many works of interactive fiction that function as a kind of "advent calender." you wander about some place or interface collecting morsels of fiction hidden behind easily flipped flaps of metaphorical cardboard. the success of these works are almost entirely dependent on how tasty those morsels are. the way you make them tasty is by deploying some of these writerly techniques to create fiction that rewards engagement

I love audiovisual hypertext!! I love interactive media!! I visual novels!! I love to click and read! I want more games that try to wow me with prose, allowing every other element be secondary more video games should be books and more books should be video games! STORY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!! let the graphics and controls be shit. why am I here if not to see things how they've never been seen before? this is my manifesto

holding hand to chest, fingers digging into my blouse. tears sparkle around the periphery of my eyes. "b-but..." I'm trembling. big heave-in to sob, but I push through: "what if I WANT to produce shareholder value??"

is there such thing as fitted sheets that don't pop off so easily? I'm so tired of it

it was www.northofreality.com/tales/2015/5... by @uel.bsky.social (thanks @sweetnawful.bsky.social)