Patrick Crerand

But think of the necklaces, Dave! The necklaces!

We’ve entered Late Stage Fudruckerization.

His head looks like a jiffy pop if you lost power halfway through cooking it.

‘Natural’ Sex Drugs Are a Spreading Health Risk in West Africa

This article reads like a Pynchon novel. Every paragraph is a gem. Waiting for RFK to replace flu shots with Ferelala powder. “Take the Shame off me!” www.nytimes.com/2025/08/20/w...

Thanks to @barrelhouse.bsky.social for the nod here! Happy to be part of such a great group of writers!

He said “Fidelio” twice.

One of Digital Day’s storylines is he needs max booster bonus bux to keep his beard from going grey. If he doesn’t get enough in time, a magic NCAA inspector comes down from Indy and turns him into Urban Meyer. Same for Holtz but it’s all Chivas Regal based incentives.

Feels like a paper where its style guide contains an allowance for no more than two “yous” per column.

So thrilled to be in this issue of @barrelhouse.bsky.social again. Never thought Alito would be a source of inspiration but great art comes from low places sometimes! Check it out!

Yellow Spudmarine

Ope Pope

Hoping to see Pope Brynlee I.

Have a couple of flash fictions in @mrbullbull.bsky.social. My thanks to them for publishing these two!

He ate all the paste in school.

What could go wrong?

Looking forward to the new book! Would it be possible to contact you about an opportunity to speak with my MFA students who'll be in Scotland in July? Let me know and thanks.

Better than the Liver King.

It’s literally Robert E. Lee’s land seized during that war for his treason.

End of your glasses in your mouth as well?

The Barrelhouse Conference: Conversations and Connections, Practical Advice on Writing — Barrelhouse Conversations and Connections is a one-day conference organized by Barrelhouse in person at American University in Washington, DC on April 12, 2025.

The program is set for the @barrelhouse.bsky.social conference in DC on 4/12/25 and there's something for everyone: craft workshops & panels on fiction, nonfiction, poetry, publishing, writing life (and how to manage it in All This Bullshit). Hope to see you there! www.barrelhousemag.com/conference

Did that asteroid rent a billboard?

Now that we’ve elected McTeague to our highest office, I’m here for all the whale news and wondering when the leviathan will swallow us. It can’t come too soon now!

A good one from Louis Jenkins. www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/53694/...

Have a new essay on here about Haydn, Joplin and failing at piano lessons when I was seven. Great issue.

The greatest college mascot ever, Brutus Buckeye, an anthropomorphic tree nut.

How about them Buckeyes!

From Cheever’s “Christmas Is a Sad Season for the Poor.” Great story.

Short story: "The Glory of Keys" How Brian Sullivan's Pontiac Sunfire became the coolest new student at Brookhaven High School

Here’s a story I wrote for McSweeney’s a while ago, reprinted here: www.salon.com/2010/07/15/p...