@krithmuth.bsky.social
Isolophilic opacarophiliac. Vocation: studying brain stuff. Hobbies: gardening, stargazing, nut-punching injustice. Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:omwxvy6mj36p6nbwxl3fjzxx/feed/aaagyj4i2dllc
✌️
25.04.2025 01:52 — 👍 1915 🔁 146 💬 68 📌 10Thought I heard RFK Jr but it was just a donkey gargling marbles.
25.04.2025 03:32 — 👍 4 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0*gapes incredulously at sentient chicken nugget for another 1361 days*
25.04.2025 03:28 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0in this day and age, it’s important to get a solid few decades of sleep for optimal mental and physical health
23.04.2025 03:17 — 👍 332 🔁 80 💬 5 📌 1no one:
nobody:
me: (full volume)
near, far, whereEVERRR YOU ARRRRE..
Canelo in communion with another toddler
Is there a name for a dog who cries until he can say hi to every kid in his sight? Angel boy? Snack opportunist? Chaos agent?
24.04.2025 15:28 — 👍 732 🔁 23 💬 38 📌 2Me: sorry boss can't make it in today
Boss: ok
Me: came down with something bad
Boss: oh no
Me: a bad case-
Boss: please don't
me: -of loving you
the shy ones
are filled with
music and art
Hiya Sooz!!
14.03.2025 15:30 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0How did I know they’d cast me as Quasimodo in the school play? Let’s just say I had a hunch.
14.03.2025 11:04 — 👍 45 🔁 6 💬 5 📌 0Cop: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP
Me: NEVER
Cop: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE
Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
Cop:
Me:
Cop: WE HAVE PUPPIES OUT HERE
Me: FOR REAL THIS TIME?
Hello friends, I'd like to announce that my new album "Involuntary Sounds I Make Now" is finally on sale, hear such rockin' hits as:
- Putting On Shoes Groaning
- Sleeping Fart
- Gasping On Treadmill
- Toilet Grunt
- Whatever Sound It Was When I Reached For A Dorito That Fell Under The Couch
❤️❤️❤️❤️
14.03.2025 10:51 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0How do I make this my ring tone?
14.03.2025 10:50 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Cartoon: a big cloud and a small cloud in the sky over a rural landscape. The clouds have little faces. On the landscape is a puddle. The small cloud is saying to the big cloud "I'm sorry, I've done a rain. I was bursting!"
Clouds
14.03.2025 08:58 — 👍 215 🔁 21 💬 1 📌 0It’s like everyone forgot that time Canada sent us their Barenaked Ladies
14.03.2025 09:24 — 👍 42 🔁 9 💬 2 📌 0[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]
CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter
Newspaper headline reads “Man with nothing to declare had 55 tortoises in his pants.”
because really, what is there to say?
14.03.2025 01:54 — 👍 360 🔁 70 💬 24 📌 11Are we absolutely certain the world hasn’t been taken over by aliens whose only references on how to human were spray tan tutorials, a bucket of kfc, and copy of mein kampf?
14.03.2025 10:33 — 👍 5 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0I caved and created a twatbook account so I could arrange to view rental properties on mktplace…my account was shut down in under 48 hrs bc real human interaction turns zuck into dust.
14.03.2025 09:58 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Notice to flat-Earthers all around the globe: Please alert the authorities if tonight’s Total Lunar Eclipse looks like this:
13.03.2025 20:27 — 👍 29147 🔁 4839 💬 1131 📌 556
14.03.2025 00:11 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
I eat cookies for breakfast because they have eggs in them.
24.01.2025 17:42 — 👍 69 🔁 12 💬 4 📌 2Whackadoo hair? Check. Ready to enter my mad-scientist phase? Checkzilla.
24.01.2025 22:23 — 👍 3 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
A psychiatrist on YouTube asked "should you detox your dopamine?" I thought it was a strange question, but if he's asking it, I figured some kind of protocol must be making the rounds on sm. Before you attempt to manipulate any of your neurochemicals, please watch this.
youtu.be/61Z0Klbyicc?...
“Gravity is extra pull-y today,” said the mirror to my boobs.
19.12.2024 06:02 — 👍 10 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0Eating cookies tonight like it’s my job. But what if it was? What if it was?
*Family Ties theme song plays in the background*
some people think eating soup alone in your car is sad, but:
1. eating soup
2. you’re alone
