Jools

No no..I’ll be okay
I have my disappointment cheese

The terrors, they do be persistin

It is never thus.

Portland, the war-ravaged land of unicyclists and craft beer

My dating app profile just says “Caveat emptor.”

In the 2000s Jack Johnson released the same song 7 times and we all let it happen

need a girl who has a dangerous obsession with the occult

A scene from psycho goreman of a little girl gently patting a giant brain with eyes

Me and my new follower

the only way to stop a bad wizard with a mass diarrhea spell is with a good wizard with a mass diarrhea spell.

My mother said I didn’t live up to my potential but I got 6 likes on my last post so WHO’S LAUGHING NOW MOM

I don't understand the appeal of chicken wings. Like, here's some spicy bones, you'll need a shower afterwards.

dentist: ok, open up, please.

me: my mom had an affair with my gym teacher in 1993 and i can’t get over it.

dentist: yeah. not like that.

“…in other sports news, The Facebook Cryptic Post Olympics are in full swing and unsurprisingly, a 52 year old suburban white woman, who just kicked out the first live-in boyfriend she’s had since the divorce, is the favorite in the race to silver.”

Feed a cold. Starve a monster of your own making.

One thing about me is I’m slow to catch on but boy when I do we are gonna revisit the topic

A bumble bee on a pink cosmos in my garden. Perfect autumn weekend.

This is me beeing there for you.

Just ate a whole family-sized can of beef stew and now I’m ready to FUCK

I'm going to start saying, 'Ain't he something?' instead of 'What the fuck are you taking about?'. Change things up a bit.

Yeah, I’m a bit fucked up, but Jim Morrison definitely sounds like Dean Martin if he’d had better drugs.

it’s about to be high skin shedding season in the northern hemisphere so make sure you bring your burlap dead skin sack to all functions

More Quizzo team names, thought up while high:

Australia Saving The World To Icehouse
There Is No IVF In Albatross World
Tepid Day
Chemical Lemon
Master Blaster Loves A Scarf
Anonymous Soup

I am so lazy I didn't even bother getting high before skipping all the other stuff I was supposed to do.

Derpy, lumpy, white pit bull, lying with stubby legs sticking straight out while smiling.

Still waiting for the goddamn rapture.

The meek no longer want the earth thanks.

excited NYC has finally added a new fifth season, right after summer and right before fall, called wet dishrag

may I speak with the primary poster in your household?

Assholes gonna asshole. Damn.

Fascist US president attempts to ban antifascism.

US media both sides the issue.

Hi, I’d like to make an appointment to forget everything please?

Thank you! 😊