The Amytyville Horror

lol, would be awfully vivid 🤭🫣

dream me oh dreamer
down to the floor
open my hands and let them weave onto yours

i know it’s strange, another way to get to know you

my patience snapping like cheap gas station sunglasses

A color photo of a rushing river in the middle of an old growth forest in Oregon going through fall color changes.

Remember to take breaks when you need them, people.
Take care of yourselves out there.

📸: Mt. Hood National Forest - Oregon

them: protect your family’s financial future

me: *gently places Splenda packets and Kohl’s coupons in safe deposit box*

ALL GODS. ALL MONSTERS. BUY ONE GET ONE WHILE QUANTITIES LAST.

babydoll i recognize
you’re a hideous thing inside

Bride of Frankenstein? Yeah, used to be. Didn't work out. Now I'm the Bride of Greg

I'm gonna paint free Hitachi on the side of my van. See if things improve

Hello? Yes, I'd like to get on the schedule for some more disappointment. Please

i love you so big, friend 🖤💜

My life is too small and I worry it will get lost in the gap behind the refrigerator.

the bible is wrong. jesus escaped from a lab

tapping the sign

Late bloomers? So you mean, like, nighttime underwear?

screenshot of an insta story: BREAKING: NASA HAS NOW FOUND EVERY INGREDIENT WE THINK IS NECESSARY FOR LIFE ON SATURN'S MOON ENCELADUS!

oh yeah? did they confirm it has LOVE?

"⚠️ your account needs attention" bitch me too, but you don't see me sending everyone pop-ups about it

All the beauty and wonder of a flaming dumpster.

ah another day at the piece of shit factory

A halved onion appears to have a smiling face with closed eyes at its center.

i too cry when cutting up an onion but it’s with the happiness of knowing i’m releasing the joyful soul trapped within

With Link unfairly banned, I don’t want to see the work he was doing get lost.

It’s Mutual Aid Monday, so post your mutual aid needs here, and let’s try to help some people today. We’re in this together.

I know it’s the apocalypse, but you are still required to wash between your butt cheeks

why do we always have to pee so bad
can’t we just pee so good

😏

knew i shoulda read the fine print

We had our AI crunch the numbers and it's looking like one jillion percent of Americans would die for AI and they all married AI and they have AI babies named Eh'Eye, and AI cured their male pattern baldness and when they looked and saw only one set of prints, that was when AI was carrying them.

damn, withdrawing my application

An app icon of a printer/scanner combo and the app name "brother iPrint&Scan"

So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position?

Hulk Hogan: