Will Kaufman

I want one of those "you've done this for 17 days straight so we'll gear up to assume we'll also do this on day 18" brains instead of my "you're saying you've done this by force for 213 consecutive days? I have no idea what you're talking about, never done this before in my life. sounds hard" brain

I worked for a bookstore that did enough business we could get a lot of books in 1-2 days, but people used Amazon punitively against us sometimes. Like, expressly telling us that we should be stocking whatever book but since we didn't they'd go through Amazon just to...prove a point?

The funny thing about the invention of the wheel is the guy who invented it died penniless. It wasn't until much much later that pennies were invented

The screen of a Leapfrog spelling toy that reads, "Bruh Dad Poop Bruh Ezra Poop"

The screen of a Leapfrog spelling toy that reads, "Bruh That Taste Bad"

My five year old is learning to spell.

But the best thing exposing your work to a bunch of strangers, and critically reading the work of others, can teach you is how to be a better reader of your own work. And for that you just need people all willing to engage in good faith.

It also reveals an issue in how you conceive of workshops and students. It doesn't matter if you don't understand a trope or reference, if the student knows it they can frame your response. I think some instructors see workshop as a place to dole out wisdom and correction.

My mum died ten years ago today, so here's a couple of memories. She'd been a war child, so hated to waste food. When she had a new hip fitted, she asked the doctor if she could take the old bone home for the dog.

Not like I'm saying anything anyone sensible doesn't already know, but these pastel nostalgic wishes for a return to agrarian life glosses over how grueling those lives were.

If I wanted a return to the good old days, it'd be to a time you could make a good living writing short stories...

My audiobook hot take is that audiobooks should just be one person reading a book. Getting a bunch of voice actors to do different role and doing music cues or even sound effects just ruins the experience. That's a radio play, and they can be great, but they're not what I want from an audiobook.

I'm "I thought a friend's kid was dressed as Janet Jackson but they were a K-Pop Demon Hunter" years old

Hello, I'm a teenager in a body with bad knees and elbows and now the beginnings of arthritis in my hands and wrists and I grow more weird hairs every day and it's getting harder to pee in the morning and my boss says it's not professional to wear graphic tees with flannels to the office

They should invent a way out that isn't through

I mean, surely this is graft, right? He's not gonna hand out $200 million to some random company just because they're "good at construction." There's a deal, or a favor, or an exchange. He wouldn't piss on a burning puppy if there wasn't something in it for him.

I'm reminded of going to see Independence Day on July 4, 1996. That imagery had so much power, such a hold on the national imagination. And I remember which side the audience was cheering for, too.

It will never not be hilarious to me that people created an economic bubble around the commodity "fancy receipt that proves you paid for said receipt"

So either you need to be active on the N*zi site or they'll let assholes impersonate you. I still miss the network I had on Twitter, but I have absolutely zero regrets about fully deleting my account.

Remember folks. The original bluesky ethos by us bluesky elders (apparently I count?) is block and move on.

Don't quote dunk, don't pick fights.
Block, and move on.

This is what made this site unpalatable to the right early on, and we can continue to make it unpalatable to them.

The alien from They Live! Then he's laughing and it says They Laugh! then he's doing that heart thing with his hands and it says They Love!

The weekend is here!

A drawing large text at the top says "NEW! Skull mounted confetti cannons for people who find enthusiasm embarrassing!" In the center, a drawing of a stern looking man in a suit with a small hole in his head that confetti is spraying out of, a diagram shows a tube mounted inside his head, connected to his brain with wires. The man is saying "I'm thrilled, truly." Small text in the corner says "do not ask how it works! It doesn't matter and it is not interesting!" Large text underneath the drawing says "let everyone know how you feel without doing something that makes you want to crawl in a hole and die!"

Enthusiasm Cannon

Imagine if when they asked the enterprise computer something it didn't know or couldn't do, Majel Barrett's voice came on going, "That's a great question! Of course I can help you..." and just lied right to their faces.

The gulf between good and evil lies in that little "eheheh" negative noise

If you use Chrome and want less AI BS, here are two steps you can take: opus.ing/posts/how-to...

The stoned hero's journey:
The forgetting about the call, the meeting with the plug, the crossing of the threshold, the crossing back for snacks, the just-one-more-bowl, the nap, the death-and-rebirth-sounds-kinda-heavy-man-how-about-some-Mario-Kart?...

You can eat? I was told I could only have jello, broth, gatorade, and laxatives for like 36 hours.

Pro-tip, don't pick the same color for your jello and Gatorade, and definitely don't pick green.

Like...your work desk isn't private, right? Your coworkers and your boss see that space all the time, right?

Apex Magazine 2026 An award-winning digital literary magazine of science fiction, dark fantasy, and horror.

To be clear: I'm not blaming editors. I don't think *anybody* likes it being this way; we've just slid here one step at a time because it's so hard to keep a short fiction magazine functioning.

(BTW, @apexmag.bsky.social is currently running a Kickstarter: www.kickstarter.com/projects/ape... )

I'm really confused about how this is supposed to help destroy the labor market.

Text: A computer can never be horny, therefore a computer can never make art

Imagine going back in time and telling Borges his infinite library is actually an incredibly literal warning.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig. Keep digging. Tunnel your way to your victim to avoid the cameras.

Happy Birthday Week!