Mel Quackenbush

Yearly reminder.
Your turkey should already be thawing.
If you're gonna fry it, make sure the bird is COMPLETELY thawed and THUROUGHLY patted dry.
For the love of all that is holy, take your turkey fryer AWAY from your house. DO NOT TRY TO USE IT ON YOUR PORCH, YOU'LL BURN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN.

a woman is saying `` this is the bad place ! '' ALT: a woman is saying `` this is the bad place ! ''

Me every single time I see anything news related.

Needing multiple streams of income to stay afloat is a societal failure not a personal one. You should be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle with one job. You are not lazy.

I have several friends who are varying combinations of smart, hot, and autistic.

My 'tism loves a good rant and/info dump. I absolutely LOVE to watch my friends go off on their smarty-pants bullshit until they run out of steam.

I occasionally trigger that shit on purpose and I make zero apologies.

Friday in the Quacken House.

Get you a spouse that supports your desire to never leave your room again. 🤣

Fully merc'd a PC last night.
Not unconscious. Zero saves.
Just "Good night, sweet prince. And flights of Angels sing thee to thy rest."

They had 4 hp left. Their max was 38.

I rolled a nat 20.

53 points of damage. Gone.

Farewell Sly. 🫡

Adventures in "Being The Fairy Dom Mommy"
A friend was asking me about the different labels we put on various flavors of gay men (twink/bear/otter/etc) and asked if femme folks had anything similar.

Y'all... I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

The chronic illness struggle of "I have performed one (1) singular task and now must lie down for like an hour."

My notes for the one shot I'm currently in the middle of contain the phrases "Purina Panther chow is spendy AF" and "Holy Man. Serves the Dawn Father and also cunt, but in a *Gone With the Wind* sort of way. Big Custer Energy" so like... its going.... well???

I just want to make my art. I just want to be creative. I don't want to have to fight a war every day against the people who want me and mine dead.

I've seen bits and pieces of it but not the whole thing. I'll definitely put it on my list though.

So I fell into a Wikipedia hole chasing down Authurian Legend... as one does... and I was reminded of how fucking dramatic our boy Lancelot is.

Spouse and I threw some tea into Boston Harbor today. Thought about @ladypurple.bsky.social the whole time. 😁

All my friends are hot and its a PROBLEM ™️.

I may have started a cult.
My table yesterday was a bunch of teens.
These kids:
-Cast "light" on a jar of mayonnaise.
-Proclaimed themselves the "Order of the Holy Mayo"
-Started chanting "Mayonnaise! Mayonnaise! MAYONNAISE!"
-After, roaming the con doing their mayonnaise chant.

Me: Why are we printing a spreadsheet for me... manually enter into another spreadsheet? Just email me and I can copy/paste the information into the proper fields. It will cut processing time and reduce the chances for human error.

Supervisor: I... do not know. Let me get back to you on that.

Sometimes you gotta make a chart to explain your campaign and the character relationships. #dnd #callofthenetherdeep

My players make sure there's never a dull moment.

Find me next week telling stories and rolling dice. I'm in at 11 am both days. I've written two new adventures for this event so come by on Saturday for "Whispers in the Wastes", a goblin-themed adventure, or Sunday for "Echoes of the Forgotten" if you prefer something more undead themed. #nococon

Dungeons and Dragons requires some pretty serious math sometimes. #dnd

Achievement Unlocked: Made a player cry at the table.

I ordered my old faithful sandwich from my favorite sandwich shop only to learn they've changed to different pickles and switched up the recipe for the sauce throwing off the whole Feng Shui of the sandwich and my brain thinks it's illegal now. AuDHD is absolutely wild.

I can't tell if it's coming from outside or the apartment next door but one of the neighbor kids is scream-singing "Hot To Go" at full volume. I am reminded of all the times as a teen that I blasted the same five songs on repeat for days. I must have been hell to live next to. 😅

A girl I went to high school with tried to loop me into her weight loss mlm this morning.

Hopped on to the website for my local cinema to what is playing now and coming soon. I was not prepared for this level of emotional damage this morning.

Y'all. I've got enough players on board to open my second table! (Still 2 seats available but I'll run with what I've got.) The very idea of being paid to run DnD is absolutely fuckin' wild.

Wanna try out the wild and wonderful world of #dungeonsanddragons but don't know where to start? I've got a beginner friendly table open now!
startplaying.games/adventure/cm...

Join Beginner Friendly | LGBTQ+ Inclusive: Wild Beyond the Witchlight - D&D Beyond / Discord / Roll20 - Dungeons & Dragons 5e | StartPlaying Games 🎪 Roleplay-Heavy | Beginner Friendly | LGBTQ+ Inclusive: Wild Beyond the Witchlight 🎭 🧚 About the Adventure: Welcome to the Witchlight Carnival — a place of wonder, whimsy, and weirdness that only ap...

I guess today we do a little shameless self promotion. Want to learn to play #dnd but don't know how to get started? Seasoned player but lack a table? You can join my Wild Beyond the Witchlight table here!
startplaying.games/adventure/cm...

I am baby. Can I have like... half a weed?

It would be super great if we could have something that even vaguely resembles standardized sizing. 🙃