I wish DOGE would do something useful like slash some calories out of my favorite donuts.
24.03.2025 17:38 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0@anbrll00.bsky.social
Voted most erotic youth pastor in 2013
I wish DOGE would do something useful like slash some calories out of my favorite donuts.
24.03.2025 17:38 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0One time I walked into a Walmart bathroom in Middletown Ohio and caught JD Vance jacking off to a picture of Kurt Warner kissing Dick Vermeil on the lips.
18.02.2025 09:33 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Carol Brady was very disrespectful to her first husband when she gave her children Mike Brady’s last name.
08.12.2024 02:10 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I’m starting a gofundme for the family of the murdered united healthcare CEO
05.12.2024 14:07 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0My new bakery “special kneads” wasn’t very successful.
28.11.2024 14:03 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Matt Gaetz had a rib removed so he could suck his own dick.
25.11.2024 06:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Ugly kid Joe should be secretary of entertainment
23.11.2024 09:03 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0What about woody Allen ?
21.11.2024 14:56 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0The Snapple lady should be press secretary.
20.11.2024 15:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Me: I call this a “juggalo speedball.” It’s an original recipe four loko mixed with 200mg of Benadryl.
Shark tank judge: here is a big bag with a dollar sign on it. It represents my entire fortune. I want you to invest ALL of it into this product.
I’m boycotting thanksgiving this year because my woke grandma has two unisex bathrooms.
20.11.2024 13:36 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Goth families burn their turkeys on thanksgiving.
20.11.2024 12:52 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I fingered my girlfriend while Netflix buffered.
16.11.2024 10:16 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The headless horseman had a head, he just never had a blowjob performed on him.
07.10.2024 01:57 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I’m wearing my maga kilt today and reminding everyone that the Irish were slaves too.
25.09.2024 05:04 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The next Covid will happen at a Springfield Ohio dog eating contest.
13.09.2024 14:43 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Robert Kennedy jr just endorsed my grandma’s pussy.
25.08.2024 10:50 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0George Washington never chopped his daddy’s cherry tree down, he made one his slaves do it for him.
24.08.2024 13:51 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Psycho cop: no more games, asshole. You either give me the name of your supplier right now or I break your other arm.
Me: B-Bum Farto
A strain of weed called rabbit pussy squirts cured my depression!
22.08.2024 22:42 — 👍 4 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Really thankful for 2010’s era technical innovations like
*checks notes*
Illegal taxi service. And—
*thumbs through to next page*
Illegal hotel service. No, wait, there’s a real one in here. Hang on
*flips through multiple pages*
Ahh! Here it is: multiple disinformation distribution networks
I’m working on a MAGA version of An American Tail where redneck mice scream and shout at the foreign ones.
22.08.2024 13:38 — 👍 4 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0Mitch McConnell Actively Dying in Public (Taylor’s Version)
31.08.2023 06:52 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I’m trying to be a 1980’s rich guy by running on my treadmill and talking on my cellphone at the same time.
30.08.2023 09:30 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Disney World has their own Area 51 and a lot of weird shit goes on there but I’m not allowed to talk about it.
29.08.2023 13:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I read this as “no cunt November” at first glance
29.08.2023 09:56 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0On 12th November 1035, Cnut the Great, King of England, Norway and Denmark, died. An event his Anglo Saxon subjects would come to know as “No Cnut November”
29.08.2023 09:27 — 👍 10 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0Travis Tritt was kicked out of the military because he was caught drinking a Zima with jolly ranchers.
29.08.2023 05:52 — 👍 7 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0My grandmother can eat a corn dog with both of her hands tied behind her back.
29.08.2023 05:05 — 👍 11 🔁 3 💬 2 📌 0