T. Wade

One olive, one oil
One bottle you got to use cuz it's good

Call me Icarus the way I am getting covered in wax too close to this guy's son

My dad's wife is accusing of him assault so I guess it's a big day all around for men I detest being violent in the ways I expect them to be.

I try so hard to not be a reply gai but then this sort of thing crosses my feed and I feel COMPELLED.

...right.

Honestly, it's homophobic to have this many straight weddings this month

Coffee's going extinct, what other hot bean water should I start getting into?

*Sonic the Hedgehog voice*
Gotta eat ass!

Non-alcoholic beers are so versatile.
You can have them NA time.

Kiesza's "Hideaway" video is the queer version of Aragorn breaking his toe on the helmet

Wes Anderson movies are The Avengers for people who like the cello.

Back on the apps, entrees in the rear

No friendship survives contact with the living together

🙌

Shout out to all the men buying the same present three times for their three kids' three moms.

The worst part if going bald is knowing I'll never get ratatouilled.

Working 3 part-time shifts at 3 different restaurants 2 afford 2 live.

Happy May Day

Sinners was a gorgeous love letter to the Blues, Black spaces, and Michael B Jordan's arms

More bad news

🎶Gimme the deets boys, and free my soul, I wanna know who's on the grassy knoll🎶

Shaq embracing Trump does mean I will actually be scared for Shaqtober this year

If he has ed how hardy could he be?

The lesson is boys need to do their dishes.

I want a pushed pork sandwich

We should known JK was a bigot when Tonks was changing her nose at dinner instead of going full futa on whichever Weasley she was into or whatever

Your poor back

i love giving tariffs, no reciprocation needed, i'm just all about giving 10% Try 110% try 125% this is my purpose i'm just a little tariff piggy let me worship those tariffs

Of course you were feelin' good, Michael Buble: you're a white man. That's not the point of the song.

Performative alt energy

Espresso martinis are just Gen Z vodka red bull

Opening a dental practice and calling it The Oral Fix Station