DoGoOn Quotes

Kurze Anmerkung: das ist mein anderer Account. Aber auch der einzige andere. Der Rest gehört mir nicht.

Ich hatte euch wegen dem "Industriegift"-Kommentar blockiert. Fand ich ein bisschen drüber. Macht mit der Info was ihr wollt.

bsky.app/profile/onei...

Matt Stewart: If the bear is brown stare it down.

#RIPMatt

E371: The Destruction of Pompeii by Mount Vesuvius

Matt: We don't have listeners. We have victims.

E412: Asidas vs Puma, the Dassler Brothers Feud

Matt: Normally you don't get pope on pope action like that. And saying that it made them shudder? That's pretty next level. That's full on.

E392: History's Worst Popes

Matt: It sounds like Jack Ruby, Jack Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald were all on a bus that dodged a crash somehow and then death stalked them.

Dave: Gotta even the ledger.

Matt: What was that franchise called? Last Stop?

Dave: Top Gear?

E313: The Assassination of JFK

Jess: Feels like some people need to let off some steam. Ah, you looked at me wrong! I could kill you! Get over it. Go have a wank. You'll be alright.

E301: History's Silliest Duels

Dave: To the touchiest among them virtually any annoyance could be construed as grounds for meeting at gunpoint. And though laws against duels were passed in several southern states the statutes were ineffective.

Jess: Had they discovered wanking yet!?

Tommy: Every time I try to photograph my own shit I get the negatives back and it all blurry.

Dave: Oh, that's just a man in a suit.

Karl: A man in a very smelly suit.

E189: Mike Patton (with Karl Chandler and Tommy Dassalo)

Matt: No one really knows what a human shit looks like.

Karl: Yeah, no one has ever looked down after getting off the toilet.

Tommy: The great mystery!

Karl: It's like a Yeti! No one has ever taken a real picture. Only a few cloudy blurry pictures of shit over the years.

Nick Mason: Our yeast hole is so empty. We need somebody to fill it!

E183: The History of Vegemite

Dave: But he's saying Putin blew up these buildings. Just going on the record to say that he said that. Putin, if you're listening, I'm not saying that.

Jess: Putin is definitely listening. Big fan!

Dave: Love Putin. Love his piano work.

#IsDaveWarneckeSecretlyEvil

E150: Wild Conspiracy Theories

Jess: Can I change my nickname to Great White Shark? Well, she's the Great White Shark. SHART! I wanna be the Great White Shart!

Matt: You are!

Jess: I regret it.

E146: The Mad Gasser of Mattoon

Matt: I'm MENSA in the sheets!

E131: The Münster Rebellion

Matt: Half nelson means semierect, right?

E118: Ryan Gosling (with Guest Joel Duscher)

Dave: Hashtag NotAllNazisAreNazis.

E127: Escape From Colditz Castle

#IsDaveWarnekeSecretlyEvil?

Dave: It's either death or the nipple spoon!

E123: The Gun Powder Plot

Matt: I thought it was a mystery.

Jess: And I knew the whole time who it was. But I didn't say it.

Dave: Well you could have stopped a lot of people dying!

(...)

Jess: Just to clarify the BTK killer is not my father John Perkins. He's a normal human being.

E115: The BTK Killer

Dave: They [rulers of Wallachia] didn't just have to worry about different empires and religions fighting each other. They also had to worry about

Jess: BEARS!

Dave: And infighting *with bears*. And inbreeding *with bears*.

Jess: Hot!

E107: Vlad The Impaler

YouTube video by 800 Pound Gorilla Media James Adomian | Path of Most Resistance (Full Comedy Special)

(Nothing to lose, no reason to hold back anymore.) My recent standup special “PATH OF MOST RESISTANCE” is really funny, with a low but completely organic human viewcount (none of the botnets, gamed algorithms, publicity machines, or other rightwing comedy advantages at play):

youtu.be/pJ5DFrdOyig

Matt: But the vinegar turned out to be ... Elton John's cum. And he does not sell that cheap. ... Jeez I panicked there.

Jess: [laughing] I my head I went to cum also.

E91: Cleopatra

Jess: Woah, Hitler said that about him. And Hitler: not the warmest guy.

Matt: He was a real bad guy. Sorry, that language was a bit soft. He was a c*nt.

E93: The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

Matt: The target of this one [mission anthropoid] was Reinhard Heydrich. You familiar with him?

Dave: No, but I like his name.

Matt: Ughhh. He was the target of it.

Jess: I don't think we like this person.

Matt: Adolph Hitler described him as the man with the iron heart.

Matt: That's a guilty shit if I've ever seen one.

E88: Salem Witch Trials

Jess: Nah, get rid of it.

Matt: It's solving difficult maths equations with its shit!

Dave: Just get it to shit on the bedridden woman. She deserves it.

E88: Salem Witch Trials

Dave: Oi, bedridden woman! Don't get out of bed if you're a witch!

Matt: Knew it.

Dave: Fucking got her! Don't worry about the shit dog. Get rid of it! Don't need him to shit.

Jess: Get rid of it?

Dave: Get rid of it. Kill the dog.

Matt: But it's shitting lots of answers.

Jess: But there were those as well who denied her connection to the Romanovs. Baroness Sophie fuck me dead! What is that name?

Matt: That is a wild name.

Dave: That doesn't sound German or Russian to me.

E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)

Jess: When is international women's day?

Matt: Ugh, for me? Everyday.

Jess: You clapped that. Have some shame!

E474: Anastasia Romanova and Her Man Imposters (live)

Dave: What I'm doing there is: I'm tying a belt around my upper arm and then I'm tapping my lower arm to make my vein pop here. I've done heroin many times! Please.

Matt: You do have the physique of a heroin man.

Dave: It's heroin chique.

E78: Steve Irwin

YouTube video by Grouse House Most Upsetting Guessing Game In The World | IT'S BACK!

You had me at @demilardner.bsky.social
youtu.be/8gmuF4aGVjM?...

Dave: Nazis can do women too!

E77: Coca Cola