Gail BK

The image of someone doing coke off a Gabe’s toilet seat is going to keep me up tonight

To be clear, I don't care that he has used cocaine. I am horrified that the man in charge of our nation's public health had no understanding of how germs work. Normal people do a line off the toilet paper dispenser thingy.

YOU GUYS IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!

❤️❤️❤️

Stone cold hero

Driving my kids downtown, I got stuck behind someone who was extremely over-cautious about making a left turn. Me, sighing, "come on, friend, you can do it. Believe in yourself." N(16), "Mom, that's the most Iowa road rage ever."

We're seeing this tonight! Longtime fans of Matt and Jay, super excited!

Absolutely not

Savage

I just sent this to my kids. Was it a threat? Who's to say?

They can smell fear

Oh.

Text from a former co-worker: Hey, miss you! Hope you and the kids and that kitty that always used to show its ass on the Teams meetings are doing well!
Reader, we are.

That's SENATOR Gogurt to you, sir

Right? I just want to see who's at my door without participating in the surveillance state. It shouldn't be this hard.

It drives me nuts when publications say "religious" when they mean "Christian." This excludes Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Bahai, Sikh, and many other religious groups in America.

Counterpoint: I sit up at my lil computer in my home office with my cat in my lap, and I don't want to disturb the cat and walk all the way downstairs to see that it's some guy who wants to give me an unsolicited roofing estimate. I'd like to do that without participating in the surveillance state

As we always say, thank goodness for lawyers!

Maxine Waters, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you

Well now that’s going to be in my head for the rest of the day. Could do a lot worse tho

You do, under some circumstances, gotta hand it to him

Who??

THANK YOU GAYER ❤️❤️❤️

Things I hate: everything
People I hate: everyone except my kids and my boyfriend and you guys and maybe Stephen Colbert and the people of Minneapolis.
Cats I hate: none of them. I love all the cats, none of this is their fault. Same for dogs

Pity Party invitation: I am in the thick of Covid, which sucks, and now I have to care for 2 teens with Covid, which also sucks, AND my face decided that now was the perfect time to go up in eczema flames, which extremely sucks. I am trying to love my body, but she’s being kind of a dick right now

Or at least one of them zipping around on a Segway

OMG YES THIS

You're crushing it!

Thank you so much for all your hard work. I feel incredibly lucky to have you as my rep. I feel like you understand and fight for my family.

All my apes, gone