Danielle

Will this fix me? Things felt and seen in psychedelic-assisted therapy

I wrote this about my experience with ketamine-assisted therapy

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Things heard and seen: My experience with psychedelic-assisted therapy.

Check out the whole story here, for free: open.substack.com/pub/griefcas...

Thank you!!!

Grief isn’t a thing we can rush, or conquer, or go around. It is something we carry. And it’s important to connect with caring others who are brave enough to walk in our grief with us.

People make a lot of assumptions about the meaning of that first laugh or smile.

Whatever others say, do, or assume about your grief, remember that grief isn’t bad or dangerous. If other people act like it is, that’s on them.

Some things are unforgivable (unpopular?) thoughts on forgiveness

Read more on Grief Casseroles:

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Forgiveness is one way to heal, grow, and find peace, but it is not the only way.

Everyone has the right to make their own decisions, to honour themselves, to settle into what feels right for them and what they’ve endured.

Forgiveness doesn’t hold us hostage until we submit to it. Not forgiving someone doesn’t mean we are stuck, or weak, or trapped.

Regardless of their status or wisdom, other people are not the arbiter of forgiveness.

It is a boundary violation to demand, pressure, manipulate, or guilt someone into forgiveness.

Coerced forgiveness isn’t real.

But this doesn’t always happen. Some people aren’t sorry. Some people don’t have the capacity for remorse or empathy.

Some people have predatory personality styles, and may even delight in the harm that inflict on others.

Yes, forgiveness can be a transformative, healing experience for all involved.

In an ideal world, accountability, respect, and repair come together, and everyone can participate in collective healing.

Forgiveness is easier when the person who hurt you is sorry and ready to take responsibility.

We are quite good at clearing space for forgiveness, but we aren’t always good at making room for the harm that came first or the actual, real person who has to live with it.

The process and decisions around forgiveness can be laced with life-altering trauma, loss, betrayal, abuse, and neglect.

Some of us might have strong opinions about forgiveness, and that’s okay.

Whatever our stance may be, forgiveness is deeply personal.

My last blog post is on my husband’s first death anniversary.

Have a read. It’s 100% free:

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Yes, 100%

Yes they do. And sometimes, there is no explanation, and we have to find a way to live with that.

Grief Casseroles | Danielle | Substack Notes on death, life, relationships, and more. Occasionally funny. Click to read Grief Casseroles, by Danielle, a Substack publication with hundreds of subscribers.

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This time last year, my husband went to the hospital and never came home.

The life we had together, all our hopes and dreams for the future, who I was… it’s all gone.

I’ve been writing my way through the pain and loneliness of this experience. If you want to support/follow: you can do that here:

Thank you so much. It’s so nice to hear that my words have impact and that people read them and feel seen.

From my latest story on Grief Casseroles #grief #trauma

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I hope they do the right thing & continue funding it! I know what it was like paying thousands for my husband’s chemo. I’d never trade our publicly funded 🇨🇦 health care, AND it’s not perfect. Many efficacious cancer txs aren’t covered. If you need them, you better have💰or an amazing ext health plan

Six months of writing on the blog my husband wanted me to create. When he asked me to share my writing publicly on a Substack, neither of us knew I’d be writing about his death.

I hope he’d be proud.

Please have a read. It’s 100% free. open.substack.com/pub/griefcas...

Let’s do away with thoughtless commentary like “be strong” (for children and adults). Let’s stop telling children they are responsible for the adults around them.

#childhoodtrauma #traumarecovery #griefandloss #grief #griefsupport #bereavement

Children don’t have a lot of choices. They look to the adults around them to help them understand what’s “normal.”

Let’s not normalize things that are harmful.

I was 13 when my dad died. Instead of embracing me and making sure I was supported, the adults around me erased me.

I’ll never forget the lineup of adults at my dad’s funeral who hugged me and whispered things like, “Be strong,” and, “You have to care of your mom and sister now.”

But I gotta be honest: Writing about grief and building grief literacy through storytelling feels quite out of step with everything that’s going on around me.

And I also know that there’s never really a “convenient” time to talk about death and grief. Idk.

This is a weird and terrible time.