Morbo the News Monster

That's just crazy talk.

And if all the billionaires leave, there'll be no one left to bribe our politicians. Do you have any idea what that will do to the briefcase industry?

Summer #Olympic sports are really basic. Who can run the fastest? Who can jump the highest? Boring.

Winter sports are absolutely unhinged. You just got done skiing a couple of miles? Great! Here's your gun! Strap knives to that girl's feet and make her DANCE!

Border Patrol has always been a nightmare.

Check out the podcast Behind the Bastards by Robert Evans. He does a really good summary of their awfulness, including their history of human trafficking.

Nah, the film industry is rough. You take the work you can get.

Racing to throw each other under the bus.

It's almost Shakespearean that Alex Jones, after finding out that he was right that the government is being run by a ring of pedophiles and billionaire elites, now has to pretend it's all a hoax.

I need a WSJ article to reveal that Trump is taking bribes for pardons in the same way I need a WSJ article to reveal that The Rock works out.

His brother paid for the vacation.

The crazy part is Tate *should* know that since he was a competitive kickboxer.

Crazy part is Tate *knows* it is. He used to be a competitive kickboxer.

The crazy part is he used to be a moderately talented kickboxer.

Well it's an Onion article, so it was never supposed to be that serious to begin with.

But in reality, yeah it would matter. My sister in law and her husband met when they were both 15 and have been together ever since.

That depends what the answer is.

(I'm just playing into the joke)

Ok, but how old was he?

The Muppets could have written A Christmas Carol, but Charles Dickens could never have written "Cheeses for us Meeces

Probably a product of the horrifying ecosystem

At least WWII was about something that mattered.

And he doesn't even have enough regular season starts to be eligible for Rookie of the Year.

One ofy favorite moments from this postseason is Trent Grisham trying to play a bit of mind games, and Yesavage immediately proceeding to completely embarrass him.

He has more postseason starts than regular season starts.

To be fair, this was for charity. It was not a serious event.

This is about as shocking as "inside sources" revealing that The Rock works out.

Cool story. Call me when someone does something about it.

It is. But it would require Congress to have some balls instead of just gargling his

Congress is full of sycophants and cowards

Congress is full of sycophants and cowards.

Hey man, I don't know if you know this, but you can care about more than one thing at the same time.

Pretty sure he was being sarcastic