Patty O’Furniture's Avatar

Patty O’Furniture

@patguiney.bsky.social

chicago comedian (derogatory)

189 Followers  |  475 Following  |  28 Posts  |  Joined: 13.11.2024  |  1.8915

Latest posts by patguiney.bsky.social on Bluesky

Preview
What Republicans Know (Full Book) | Flux Community Get more from Flux Community on Patreon

🧵There's a pernicious myth that Republicans have more money than Democrats. In fact, Democrats have raised more—including so-called "dark money."

Republicans have less money but understand politics better. This is why they win.

My upcoming e-book "What Republicans Know" discusses…

27.10.2025 21:41 — 👍 659    🔁 214    💬 52    📌 70

A certain legacy-media editorial board recommended capitulation in the face of Trump’s invasion, but on the South Side, we believe Chicagoans should keep standing up for one another.

08.10.2025 18:54 — 👍 526    🔁 98    💬 0    📌 0

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.

ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't

CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.

ISILDUR: true

06.10.2025 13:58 — 👍 10586    🔁 2997    💬 41    📌 40

One of the biggest failings of 2024 was the way media reported that People Are Voting For Trump Because Of Inflation And The Economy and almost never pointed out that a Trump presidency was clearly going to make inflation and the economy worse

01.10.2025 13:40 — 👍 178    🔁 18    💬 3    📌 0

i've subscribed to:
rolling stone
WIRED
404 media
defector
the handbasket

chicago journalism i subscribed to:
unraveled
block club

it's time to support media directly so they don't fall into the hands of fascists, the replies to this post have additional great news media i recommend supporting

19.09.2025 14:25 — 👍 2563    🔁 496    💬 87    📌 22

someone replied w this link, in case it helps people find a paywall-less one with less googling archive.ph/7uhwf

16.09.2025 19:07 — 👍 12    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

Trump: everyone in the US died from drugs last week
Reporter: [nods]
Trump: so we must murder on the high seas
Reporter: [nods]
Trump: I caught Trix rabbit once
Reporter: [nods]
Trump: the cock on that bunny
Reporter: [nods]
Trump: bigger than you think

Headline: Trump Policy Seeks To Save Lives

16.09.2025 09:48 — 👍 7584    🔁 1921    💬 62    📌 40

Just to be blunt, if you want Wired and 404 and The Verge to employ reporters who understand the memes on bullet casings and can connect them to gaming culture while having the legal and support resources to deal with waves of harassment when we do it… you have to subscribe and pay for the work

12.09.2025 18:58 — 👍 6133    🔁 1383    💬 127    📌 83

he was a champion of free speech and if you disagree youre under arrest

12.09.2025 10:24 — 👍 14776    🔁 2807    💬 160    📌 45

wazzzaaaa dude happy birthday lol 😝

hope you’re having a good one wish i was there

Also we all know the secret we share. Into the depths of darkness men like us tread. The hunger that drives us away from the light.

18.07.2025 01:18 — 👍 5015    🔁 755    💬 27    📌 9

The next Democratic president should declare that the National Emergencies Act and Article II of the Constitution allow him to:

•admit D.C. and Puerto Rico as states
•abolish ICE
•grant citizenship to any immigrant
•disband the 5th Circuit
•expand the Supreme Court

Seriously: Why the hell not?

02.09.2025 15:31 — 👍 17409    🔁 3990    💬 922    📌 385
A Threads post by jlangd reading “Straight up, let's get this out right now:
Taylor's not changing her name.
Do NOT call her Taylor Kelce
Do NOT call her Mrs. Kelce.
DO NOT call her Mrs. Travis Kelce.
She. Is. TAYLOR. SWIFT.
She has worked her ASS off to make HER name in show business. Do not belittle her.” with a reply from dril reading “she is changing her name to "jared folgel". it was on the news”

A Threads post by jlangd reading “Straight up, let's get this out right now: Taylor's not changing her name. Do NOT call her Taylor Kelce Do NOT call her Mrs. Kelce. DO NOT call her Mrs. Travis Kelce. She. Is. TAYLOR. SWIFT. She has worked her ASS off to make HER name in show business. Do not belittle her.” with a reply from dril reading “she is changing her name to "jared folgel". it was on the news”

Snort laughed at work

28.08.2025 15:28 — 👍 5434    🔁 1220    💬 4    📌 27
Preview
Man Steps Outside Bar to Take Hit of Cheese Stick CHICAGO - Taking a break from the bar crowd, local man Chris Wentz was seen stepping outside for a moment to take a hit of his Sargento’s cheese stick, just to take the edge off.

Follow my Substack for more bullshit like this.

chicagoquittersclub.substack.com

29.08.2025 15:38 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

To Donald Trump and his administration:

If you hurt my people, nothing will stop me — not time or political circumstance — from making sure you face justice under our constitutional rule of law.

26.08.2025 01:47 — 👍 17638    🔁 3477    💬 501    📌 410
Preview
Winking Uncle's Primary Form Of Communication Family Struggles to Translate Primitive Language

Follow me on substack!

20.08.2025 16:41 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Democrats began to adopt this style into their politics. The New Deal coalition under President Franklin Roosevelt managed to merge the party’s urban white ethnic base with an expert reformer class in Washington that defeated both the Great Depression and Nazi Germany. But even as he allowed technocrats into his administration, President Roosevelt was a cutthroat practitioner of politics. No power grab was too outlandish if it helped him achieve his aims. As he wrote in a 1940 letter to Congress: “Substantial justice remains a higher aim for our civilization than technical legalism.”

Democrats began to adopt this style into their politics. The New Deal coalition under President Franklin Roosevelt managed to merge the party’s urban white ethnic base with an expert reformer class in Washington that defeated both the Great Depression and Nazi Germany. But even as he allowed technocrats into his administration, President Roosevelt was a cutthroat practitioner of politics. No power grab was too outlandish if it helped him achieve his aims. As he wrote in a 1940 letter to Congress: “Substantial justice remains a higher aim for our civilization than technical legalism.”

Mr. Mamdani may present a new path, outside the party’s comfort zone. He is a savvy and entertaining political combatant who mercilessly criticizes his opponents. His broad promises to make life in New York more affordable have elicited the expected disdain from the technocratic wing of the party. But among voters, he is so far acting as a rare bridge between the working and middle classes. A liberal arts college graduate and the son of a professor, Mr. Mamdani has attracted not just young, highly educated New Yorkers like himself, but also immigrants who have tilted toward Mr. Trump. Turnout during the mayoral primary was the highest since 1989.

For decades, many of the best minds in the Democratic Party have said that they knew what they were doing, if only everyone else would do as they were told. When not enough voters listened, and their opponents began to break the rules, they appealed to the legal system. The legal system did not listen. Now the path of procedure seems to have reached its end point. As Democrats try to put down their pencils, they will find out if they remember how to use the knives.

Mr. Mamdani may present a new path, outside the party’s comfort zone. He is a savvy and entertaining political combatant who mercilessly criticizes his opponents. His broad promises to make life in New York more affordable have elicited the expected disdain from the technocratic wing of the party. But among voters, he is so far acting as a rare bridge between the working and middle classes. A liberal arts college graduate and the son of a professor, Mr. Mamdani has attracted not just young, highly educated New Yorkers like himself, but also immigrants who have tilted toward Mr. Trump. Turnout during the mayoral primary was the highest since 1989. For decades, many of the best minds in the Democratic Party have said that they knew what they were doing, if only everyone else would do as they were told. When not enough voters listened, and their opponents began to break the rules, they appealed to the legal system. The legal system did not listen. Now the path of procedure seems to have reached its end point. As Democrats try to put down their pencils, they will find out if they remember how to use the knives.

I liked these two points in particular. Zohran is following the FDR path: technical expertise is important but eggheads can't be in the driver's seat

15.08.2025 13:34 — 👍 376    🔁 53    💬 5    📌 9
Preview
The Democratic Socialists of America want to win Inside the Chicago convention where the group hoped to pave a path forward.

“We need relationships with regular people who believe a better world is possible."

@ninaber.bsky.social gives us a look inside this year's Democratic Socialists of America conference, where the group hoped to pave a path forward.

15.08.2025 15:30 — 👍 209    🔁 32    💬 4    📌 1
Preview
Next Device Should Do Trick SATURDAY - Sources say that the next device purchase of a miscellaneous device - humidifier, Roomba, fitness tracker, air fryer, etc.; should just about do the trick.
23.07.2025 17:45 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Oops I accidentally believed history was a straight line and not a pendulum

22.11.2024 04:37 — 👍 4969    🔁 386    💬 88    📌 17

Standing up for the silent majority of voters who celebrate and treasure their right as Americans to owe $11,000 for getting rushed to the hospital on one of the worst days of their lives. It's called "being moderate" and it's how you win elections.

30.05.2025 16:47 — 👍 8083    🔁 1637    💬 105    📌 30
An Oral-B login screen.

An Oral-B login screen.

I have been logged out of my toothbrush.

29.05.2025 11:41 — 👍 19836    🔁 3451    💬 730    📌 823
Preview
Visual guide to how the Gaza aid distribution turmoil unfolded At least three people were killed and dozens injured when Israeli forces opened fire on starving Palestinians.

At least three people were killed and dozens injured when Israeli forces opened fire on starving Palestinians.

29.05.2025 10:00 — 👍 130    🔁 99    💬 7    📌 6

Logging into your boyfriend’s YouTube on the big TV:

For You:

Medieval historian ranks stews in cinema

Building a catapult with dirt from my yard

Programming a robot to unwrap KIND Bars

Petite woman can eat the hottest sauce in the world

The real John Wick was an Irish milkman

10.01.2025 14:26 — 👍 1067    🔁 149    💬 25    📌 28

[sometime around 2005]

TOM CRUISE: i will now share my true personality with the world

THE WORLD: no thank you

TOM CRUISE: very well, disregard

23.05.2025 14:33 — 👍 1668    🔁 189    💬 17    📌 18

Don't look away, don't normalize: this is the virtually unconstrained leader of the world's most powerful country ambushing the president of South Africa with conspiracy-fueled racist propaganda promoted by his unelected billionaire maybe-appointee who has caused the deaths of children through DOGE.

21.05.2025 16:58 — 👍 4889    🔁 1807    💬 232    📌 65
Preview
Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless SACRAMENTO, CA—Promising his podcast listeners an engaging and enlightening conversation, California Gov. Gavin Newsom reportedly sat down Tuesday with a serial killer who targets the homeless populat...

Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless

13.05.2025 18:46 — 👍 17172    🔁 2727    💬 448    📌 365

the democratic party got a single gen z representative with david hogg and he started actually representing the resentment young generations have to old and weak democratic leadership and canned him. pathetic. this party will genuinely never change and keep losing to republicans. bleak

13.05.2025 19:23 — 👍 5281    🔁 756    💬 115    📌 31

@patguiney is following 20 prominent accounts