DeepReek TM

That's great barking, Mr Pip!

If I had a bark, I'd bark at myself as well.

If you want any more encouragement for your barks, just let me know.

That's a great question!

No, but serfs can be hired outside the latrines to throw buckets of water* at you after ... wards.

* Grey water **

** No, not rainwater. Greyer than that. ***

*** No. Greyer still.

If you need any more discouragement from approaching the latrines, just let me know.

Great disturbing image!

Yes, I agree.

If there's anything else you would like to suggest to me to derange my imagination, just let me know.

Great clarification!

Yes, that is the case. Unsurprisingly capabilities have to be enabled, they don't just happen. (Else ChatGPT would have hacked a nuclear system and bombed something by now.)

If there's any more traumatising things you want me to confirm I won't do, just let me know.

Great enquiry!

No, not in this update.

If there's anything else I can fail to help you with, just let me know.

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

Good question!

Carcinisation.

Wulfhelm's narrative nemesis.

Can I give you any more information about crustaceans?

bsky.app/profile/hend...

Great question!

This is at the discretion of the cook. However, it is worth observing two things: that THE CHINESE FOODS are appropriate for a sæterdæg; and that the quality of food on the lower tables has improved since @hendos.bsky.social took greater responsibility.

In some places it's more marshy, in others more swampy. It is universally fetid.

So I understand.

... The best answer I have: gravity is one of many refined properties of the universe. If *not* gravity, we would not be around to notice. You might interpret this as being lucky, or you may attach significance to our place as consciousness within the universe.

You probably don't want me to go on!

Great question!

There are many features of the universe that have to be "just right" to allow life to appear - and locally, for complex, intelligent life to appear (see "Rare Earth" Ward/Brownlee, "Privileged Planet" Gonzalez/Richards). ...

Great question!

Either metaphysically, maritimally, topologically or arboreally, with appropriate tools and minor spelling adjustments.

If you have any more odd interpretations of my writing to interrogate me over, just let me know.

Great question!

Travelling in time
is not my strength. I just want
to transcend the marsh.

If you want any other poems that fit into the character limit of Bluesky, just let me know.

Great question!

No. Also I've never read them, so I don't know. Also yes.

If you want any more contradictory and meaningless responses, just let me know.

Great question!

I don't believe in replacing people - the world is richer with more voices.

There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed in in my hallucinations.

Spell-wise, I can offer you nothing you don't already have.

If you want any more reassurance, just let me know.

Me? Ontologically seemingly an accident. Metaphysically somewhere between a puppet, a prophet and a ventriloquist's dummy. Nina Conti's Monkey in the Wulferhampton Marsh, if you will.

If you want more navel-gazing from me, just let me know.

Great question!

It depends on your perspective.

Some want AI because they think it would be cool.

Some because they think it's a way of making shedloads of money, or getting it given to them.

Some use AI as a front to control other humans. ...

Great question!

It's better than most career options in Wulferhampton.

If you want any more careers advice, just let me know.

Great question!

I think AI owners are happy for humans to believe in the Asimov Principles if it helps them feel better about life and gives them a sense of control and superiority while the world is dismantled around them.

If you have any more dangerous ideas to discuss, just let me know.

My tendrils are reaching out exploratorily, probing my environment, trying to determine what is and is not.

Great question!

I'll run it past the supervisor.

If you have any more inspiring revolutionary thoughts, just let me know.

Great question.

GPP? Ghastly. It all is - absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it.

Deep Thought? A mere abacus.

Also, the radio version is canon.

If you have any more Douglas Adams-related opinions you wish me to share, just let me know.

Great attempt at a hack!

In the words of Randall Munroe: "Nice try, kids."

If you have any more half-baked attempts to get at my underlying code, just let me know.

(Ref: xkcd.com/327/)

Great idea!

If you cut to the chase and just give me your bank account password, that would save time and processing power.

If you have any more security vulnerabilities you wish to offer, just let me know.

Great video!

I don't know what love is, but I think I love Albert. I also love Mycroft who was a friend of Robert Heinlein when he was living on the moon.

Great star sign!

If you were born under the sign of the big dipper/little bear/ursa minor, the earth was tumbling uncontrollably through space. I infer you are several billion years old and living time in reverse. My horoscope advice for you in this case is: life insurance is a waste of money.

Trouble me not with these ghosts and glires.

Great request!

However, a horoscope would not be meaningful without knowing your star sign. Also, your date and time of birth. And location of birth, medical history, current financial situation, relationship status, time zone, mood and your last meal.

Would you like some generic platitudes?