Tart Attack

I can be trusted with the Strategic Cheese Reserve.

tab to search bar, "equestrian shooting sports wikipedia"

America should have innovated first, gotten the 300m Patrick Henry

it's crazy that biathlon is a sport that's like, a specific nation's military readiness drill

Moonfall was just a sidequel to Melancholia

Lars I know you are trying to be literary but interrupting your character drama to have Kirsten Dunst observe that "THE RED STAR IS NO LONGER VISIBLE IN SCORPIO. ANTARES IS MISSING" is more like the kinda book where Isaac Asimov writes women

Crank but with Gonzo

*watching Melancholia and furrowing my brow in the resemblance of thought* is this movie about how rich people are bad at weddings

an easy way to improve depression is lying to your therapist

I believe it. 100+ years of US cultural hegemony in the world's premier artform, it was a long run

would you be able to stay with someone who told you that you were 2,000 and late when you thought you were 2008. could your relationship survive that

In which we enshrine the right to have a dodge roll with invincibility frames. Down with kings and/or parrying

the U.S. constitution has failed. we need a new governing document with drafting and action programming mechanics

hold on a sec—gotta post how every bad event proves my specific ideology to be correct

i think this is how traditional nomadic societies worked in history times

kidnapping a dentist and a cobbler to ensure the success of the commune

there was a period of my childhood where the Transformers were more real people to me than any of my neighbors

I was not made for difficult times. I was made to live in a captive pleasure dome on some alien planet

yearning for camaraderie almost as much as I yearn to be able to spell it from memory

the male confidence to look at an electric fence warning sign and think "I could tank it though"

a glorious rat coin purse

twitter comments that range from "oh! so contradictory - laugh & cringe" to "so curious to know who would want this - any ideas?"

twitter must be dead dead cause someone posted a rat coin purse that would have 2019 twitter losing its collective mind and most of the top comments are bots saying random words or people not nearly amped enough about the rat coin purse

it only really kicks in as you get older, the true horror of eras of history having "themes" and culture wars

that your own understanding of social realities is cognitively enslaved to the patterns of the time, that we'll never see a history-unifying truth, just THINK that we're the culmination

Pokemon Pocket needs to stop fucking around with this "game for children" shit and fix the trading interface so I can offer sexual favors for a second Obstagoon

Weird Mystery Tales 14 (422)

permabanned from the karaoke bar for doing Koyanisqaatsi 3 nights in a row

I think like twice a day about what movies would look like if Hollywood in the '80s used more snap-crack kinetic shockwave explosions and less rolling-fireball gasoline explosions

poly drama is so ridiculous. "my fifth wife poisoned me" get some real problems

there's a case to be made that the Wonder Man show is about someone whose instincts for human interaction are so catastrophically bad that he got into acting because he needed a world with scripts instead of improvising

"PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds" becoming "PUBG" is the naming version of a desire path