Cat

Looks likely my transition wasn't meant to be. GP won't do shared care, hair transplant results are depressingly crap and no consistent happy or calm feeling.
Bugger.

a woman with blue hair is laughing in front of a microphone while wearing a hoodie . Alt: a woman with blue hair is laughing in front of a microphone while wearing a hoodie .

Going to balance out negative posts with positive/cute ones, so here goes...

Mmm viennetta. The way the ice-cream kind of disappears instead of melting makes it special

The Petshopboys don't even sell hamster food. How can we take the seriously? Two stars

Thank you ❤️

Updated my profile photo to a more natural look (apart from the hair obvs)

The American people at work love going to Greggs when they come over because our fast food tastes more like real food than theirs

Transgender awareness week.

I am aware.

Happy for one day yesterday, then back to depression about having a brain that doesn't match my body.

I want to post happy stuff, but am just so, so tired of everything.

Ah, it sounds obvious now you've said it 😅

I'm on 1mg gel, so was curious what counts as a microdose over there

My brain isn't braining - what's reached B?

Just out of interest, what level were you microdosing?

They are definitely in the minority!!

Hope you manage not to panic too much - googling things is dangerous and normally mentions the extremes.

As this a 3-month trial, then reassessing whether to carry on, it's not meeting it's primary endpoints so far

HRT 9 weeks...
No change in emotions
Sore nipples
Tiredness
Slightly tingling mouth

I'm surviving too 🫂❤️

Hope you're okay x

Just done a nice walk with a lovely view... and got back before the rain

Woman taking selfie

Did something today to try and lift my mood

It's oddly jarring seeing everyone going about their lives normally when you're in a bleak place and questioning everything.

No energy left

I've had enough - work is stressful, I'm too bald, hrt isn't helping depression - I'm just deluding myself that any of this will improve.

Did anyone else have really supportive friends who said 'people should be able to live how they want', only for them to go really quiet when you start hrt?

a picture of a teletubbies character with a star tamil chat logo Alt: a picture of a teletubbies character fainting

Thought I'd been feeling light-headed for a few weeks...

Blood pressure of 105 over 63 might explain it

Nice to see your smile 😊

I want to turn the clock back 8 years and just pretend none of this shit happened.

My parents would still be alive, my health would be better, and I could convince myself that occasionally dressing up would be enough.

I appreciate this is a crossroads point, but life shouldn't be this hard!!

Thank you and sorry for the brain dump - it's just all a bit much at the moment and I just need to pick a lane x

Arianna Grande Girl GIF ALT: Arianna Grande Girl GIF

On the down days, the thought of being on meds forever plays on my mind, but then Mrs Cat will probably be on the same and seems fine about it. On the good days the future seems positive - I just want my brain to pick a side!

Thanks for replying - most of the people I've spoken to knew within the first couple of months that it felt right, so good to know sometimes it takes longer.

However, boob growth may force a decision earlier as I need to be sure before the point of no return...

Thanks - it seems like a big and crazy step!

My brain still flips between 'this is a positive step forwards' and 'what the hell am I doing, just go back to dissociating'. The latter may still win as lack of hair and lack of self acceptance keeps kicking my ass whenever I start to feel positive.