irishreacts

Dad, seeing at least the second Eagle slip: oh but they won’t change their cleats until at least three more players slip
THE NEXT FUCKING SHOT: the longer cleats on the sidelines

me, like Jim Hawkins: how does he bloody DO that?!?

“OH you know the dad / son we watched?? (COPS adjacent)
“Yahp.”
“They were driving through the Wisconsin streets”
“Did they say wher- it’s Milwaukee. Ten to one it’s Milwaukee.”
“It was Milwaukee.”
“That’s her! That’s my girl. She’s my favorite for a reason! #justwisconsinthings

Dad: Cindy Lou Who lives in Whoville..
Me: hahahahah yah.
Dad: and Horton Hears a Who…
Me, no idea where this is going: uh huh..
Dad: are they the same Who’s?
Me: OOHH! Yah. The Who’s live on a speck of dust; and Horton hears them floating around on it.
Dad: I can sleep at night again.
Me: 😂😂⚰️

hey hey djt
how many rooms did you gold today

hey hey puta naranja
nothing rhymes with orange

kkkkkkkkkkaroline
bah dah dah
your mouth never makes true words
they’re false fuck you get bent

hey this is a long way to say the secretary of war has a small dick and is trying to piss on everything

Trump administration uses taxpayer dollars to blame Democrats for government shutdown Federal employees across the government reported seeing similar messages. Experts say the messages may violate ethics laws meant to keep partisan politics out of day-to-day governing.

Federal employees across the government reported seeing similar messages. Experts say the messages may violate ethics laws meant to keep partisan politics out of day-to-day governing.

If you don’t want to be called a Nazi or Hitler, maybe stop quoting him verbatim?

nfl announcer: ..with Micah Parsons; and this proves -
dad: that Jerry Jones has absolutely fucking lost his mind this time; for real

forensic files is the dead people’s macguyver no i will not be elaborating at this time

every true whaleman sleeps with his harpoon

nobody:
absolutely nobody:
me: fixes a kids glasses with found superglue (purse); thumbtack (office); and tried a used staple first
also me: *face*
me: what this counts as making / fixing props

ooohhhh no no no no who the fuck is we

nobody:
me; reading: it is insane that I forgot how many times they used the word perimeter during the columbine shooting

nobody:
law and order the original; in a beginning episode: “…ludes”
me: fucking *nobody* calls them that

nobody:
me, watching any one of these shows but this time it’s CSI: “ooohhhhh, kid-in-a-dryer”

lemon, it’s Tuesday.

joe mantegna: *tells a story on criminal minds*
me: that is 💯 percent a true event that has happened
also me: you can’t kno-
me: ABSOLUTE. TRUTH.

“meatwad” is the funniest goddamn word in the English language #millenialcore

nobody:
cuomo: this is a great idea

realized I was more embarrassed today than the time I puked in front of my entire junior high school in sixth grade and my crush ran up looked me in the face and said “ewww”. realizing only six people see this; but please know many of us loathe this fucking rotting citrus. #imasorryamerican

no but this dude knows what the fuck he’s talking about

tricked myself into a shower and now I’m like the dog; mad as fuck but at least clean 🙄 #depression #audhd #grief

this has no goddamn right 😂

PEOPLE ARE CALLING PHILADELPHIA AMERICAS TEAM?!? I’m a Green Bay fan and even *I* know nobody knows why Dallas is called that because they’ve been shitty for *centuries* - this human is 💯 percent on the nose

a ton of this bullshit makes me mad; but like the fucking Kennedy Center infiltration jjjyyyyuust; gets the fuck to me. what a bunch of nonsense.

also I’ve been thinking a fuck ton about what @georgetakei.bsky.social feels like; like you’ve literally seen this at least twice; I would be insufferable to anyone around me I feel like

NO BUT SUDDENLY ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS HOW MANY TESLAS CAN WE FIT IN BOSTON HARBOR #swastikar

andy samberg knew the kids (xennials) of a very specific comedy breed needed a new song; just as adam sandler knew how much we needed thay tribute song.

can confirm

also hey thanks #canada for not turning the power off during the Super Bowl; we appreciate you