Hipster Viking Amy

heads up to the american news media: I do not care what racists thought of the super bowl halftime show

hey, I've been planning on it since I heard about y'all's shower.

Fanfiction doesn’t exist to be “good” it exists because something went horribly wrong with you while you were watching a tv show and you’re gripped by madness

That is fricking glorious though.

Do you love the color of the sk— [is immediately dragged off camera by an angry Tumblr mob]

It’s “we hate it so much that Bad Bunny is playing the Super Bowl that we’re having our OWN show” which, now that I think of it, is why it’s giving off such “don’t go to that sinful prom/Halloween party, come to the one at church, it’s going to be super awesome” vibes.

I’ve just bought his book on the strength of how much his feed makes me laugh.

…oh. OH. Oh dear.

I think “niche market consumers aren’t as stupid as you think” is the fundamental thing that everybody who tries to get into a “disruptor” market fails to understand.

Chappell Bone playing on the Puppy Bowl. It’s a puppy chewing on a blue and orange puffy thing

Don’t know who needs to hear this but one of the puppies on the Puppy Bowl this year is named Chappell Bone

Including Kid Rock

It’s the ones who DRESSED UP for a rock concert that kill me.

Right?? As soon as he moved to take off the jacket I was like, oh, honey, you’ve already taken too long for that to be cool, just retire.

Every time I look at her in any context, I think of that post about her marrying the most ambitious man at Yale and having to pretend she likes Kid Rock as a direct result.

okay hear me out

This is also happening to me this week, and I’m so sorry.

Something something every neurospicy kid’s equally neurospicy parent telling them that everybody struggles with that and you just have to push through it.

And yet you can be arsed to switch the entire machines… why are we like this.

I try not to boost stuff that’s bad for purposes of mockery, because that’s still giving it airtime.

I’m making an exception for this.

apparently it is feeding sweetcorn to the dog

Once we had a barbecue at my folks’ place and a little girl who couldn’t have been more than five grabbed her brother and said “Follow me. I have found shelter where we will be safe and warm.” (Mom later found them in the master bedroom, jumping on the bed.) 30 years later, we still talk about that.

so I'm sitting here and my 1 yo is playing quietly on the floor and the 3 yo walks up to him and goes "come, brother, let us return to our wicked ways!"

El problema es el capitalismo, ¡no las leyes inmutables de la física!

But you’re so good at everything else!

Never had to do it with a toddler, but have done the “try to keep them still” thing with puppies and do not recommend

Did you get the “go knock on doors” thing? Which my dad didn’t realize was bad advice until I asked what would happen if a rando walked into his office off the street and he said he’d call security?

We truly all have the same scars.

Lord have mercy - that and "You're smart enough to do this, you just need to apply yourself."

Yeah, I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this out!

The dearest, naughtiest, sassiest, most beautiful little corgi.

Hey all, i’m so sorry to tell you I had to say goodbye to Gigi, the grand Princess Gigila Corgila Fluffila Puppila a.k.a. Girldog, last night. It was time and it was peaceful and she got a proper sendoff from her adoring fans at the vet. Please do something your dog loves, in her honor.