William Garrison @williamgarrison

Let people enjoy things.

26.09.2025 01:39 — 👍 16 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

the ending of this explainer might surprise you

03.08.2025 14:22 — 👍 4757 🔁 1136 💬 99 📌 109

a man with a mustache is sitting at a table and saying `` i regret nothing . '' ALT: a man with a mustache is sitting at a table and saying `` i regret nothing . ''

03.08.2025 14:51 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Which one mixes best with Coke?

03.08.2025 14:09 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

The answer (to forget Subway paid millions of dollars to a convicted pedophile) is a cookie.

23.06.2025 16:46 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It's really hard to say what my wife does for a living.

She sells seashells by the seashore.

22.06.2025 14:44 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day: bought a bing, bought a boom.

14.06.2025 13:17 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Recycling?

09.06.2025 23:01 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

RFKs new committee:

09.06.2025 22:22 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

"Uno... dos..." And poof, he vanished without a tres.

06.06.2025 11:42 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It’s a shame they don’t built a lot of things here in the US anymore…

I bought a new TV and it said “Built in Roku,” I don’t even know where that is!

06.06.2025 11:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?

A trophy.

05.06.2025 11:46 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I had my leg X-rayed today.
The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm.'
I said: 'Inch-high knees?'
He replied: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高.'

04.06.2025 11:43 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Bye, Felicia

30.05.2025 20:29 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

How do you tell a chemist from a communist?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

24.05.2025 12:30 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Looks weird and creepy and interesting, I dig it.

20.05.2025 14:35 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

YouTube video by SNL Hosts Introducing the Musical Guest S49E02 [2]

MRW my rabbit gets on the counter again

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrE1...

15.05.2025 17:04 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

a man with blonde hair and a yellow jacket is standing in front of a blue sky . ALT: a man with blonde hair and a yellow jacket is standing in front of a blue sky .

My actual reaction

14.05.2025 15:07 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I've heard a lot of good things (no spoilers), so I'm now extra hyped.

12.05.2025 01:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

This is a classic joke to open with.

09.05.2025 14:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Capitalism is getting out of hand.

09.05.2025 14:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

07.05.2025 12:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

05.05.2025 14:32 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

01.05.2025 00:50 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Protect The Dolls Troye Sivan Product Details: www.topicgirl.co True to size with good stretch Lightweight, breathable material Colors: Gray White Print: Protect The Dolls Troye Sivan Neckline: Round Short Sleeves: Crop Top, T-Shi...

It's on their linked page: topicgirl.com/products/pro...

30.04.2025 19:41 — 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

25.04.2025 13:26 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.

I hear they're gonna give him a tough sentence.

23.04.2025 12:25 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Trump continues to hire the best people, I said sarcastically.

21.04.2025 18:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Thoughts and prayers.

21.04.2025 18:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

William Garrison

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