cowboy johnny

y e s

it’e a screenshot of a tweet that says “good afternoon to people 5 foot 4 and under only”

in the year of our lord 2025???

me the last several months

waiter

my pasta is bats

smash

An interesting fact about the band ZZ Top is that their singer Frank Instrument is the only member who didn’t play an instrument

i appreciate all the support that some people want to give to latinos in the states these days, but if you’re reducing us to a job title like farm worker or hotel maid, you’re not helping like you think you are. we are more than the work we do.

thank god cats are such sleepy creatures, i love me a good rest and resting with a friend is even better

this depression got me feeling like that noise that cartoon characters make when they start falling down

whoever filled my head with this fucking mucus, your moms a hoe

wife: sweep the floor

me: *sweeps the floor

floor: assumes the crane stance and just hoofs me in the skull, winning the tournament

highkey if you say “MAGAt” i’m gonna assume you’re a, over the age of 50 and b, homophobic. why else would you be calling someone the cowards f slur

they’re all one glass of wine away from calling us the worst slur they can think of

another day, another tired of white women

at this point just say the f slur

i came across this interaction on accident and babes you are exhausting.

You cannot be both pro-life and a fan of Willy Wonka.

nah, let’s not associate him with people with learning disabilities. i have a learning disability and i managed to not be a raging dickhead.

to the person singing i believe i can fly in the alley behind my house have a good night be safe muah ily

tbh the nap i took after to cook it down made it worth it

thank you for explaining! i truly wasn’t sure what it was for

fuck i really did not need mexican food and a blizzard

doordash baby please stop offering me double dash i don’t need mexican food and a blizzard but maybe i do and how can i know until i buy it

god i hate it when my disability has the AUDACITY to disable me

literally me moments ago, i almost didn’t make it

“waahhhh egg prices are too high” just lay the eggs yourself you lazy prick

nice credit score you got there. be a shame if it was all...imaginary

A classic Solitaire game doing that shuffle thing after you win the game; multiple cascading and overlapping cards across the screen. The green background typical for the game is visible. This is the zoomies for digital card games.

i bet this feels so good if you're a deck of cards

i miss my dad and my uncle a lot today. i’m so lucky that they loved me and i got to love them.