ella disenchanted

Having carnal thoughts about Farrah Fawcett again. Best put on a hair shirt and ride my penny-farthing past the vicar’s house

sweeping the “hooters breakfast menu” category on jeopardy then looking into the audience to see my wife giving me a thumbs down

First date idea: We cancel on each other.

Greta Thunberg, arriving back in Europe after her abduction by Israel in international waters, explains in 40 seconds why western governments are colluding in genocide:

i know mutuals on here who don’t like derek guy’s menswear account & there’s a grip of y’all with blocks in place one way or another —

and i would hope we can all collectively agree that this shit isn’t funny or a joke to help put anyone at risk of getting disappeared by the gestapo

IT'S NAMED AFTER STEVE SILHOUETTE

You ever take an hour walk when it's hot as hell and there's a UV advisory? Yeah me neither, anyway if anyone needs me I'll be taking a naked nap on the hardwood floor

one thing about a bunch of troops sleeping in a big pile on the ground under an administration that thinks vaccination and pasteurization are for pussies is that nothing bad ever happened when fellas went camping with a thousand of their buddies before those things were invented

HOW TO SPOT A KETTLE Police may try to surround the march on all sides in a "kettle." If you're kettled, they might hold you there for hours... They otten lie about when they're gonna let you go. ...or even arrest everyone. Look out for a prisoner transport bus. If you see a kettle coming, the safest exit is usually back the way you came. TURN AROUND!

stay safe! avoid kettles!!

I once killed a bee with Aqua Net. It was the 80s, and I'm sorry, environment, for both of those things 🐝👩‍🎤

Jizz is my business and jizzness is good.

Why can't I read this

SEEKING INFORMATION ASSAULT ON A FEDERAL OFFICER AND DAMAGE TO GOVERNMENT PROPERTY Unknown Suspect Paramount, California June 7, 2025 REWARD The FBI is offering a reward of up to $50,000 for information leading to the identification, arrest, and conviction of this unknown suspect. DETAILS The Federal Bureau of Investigation's Los Angeles Field Office is seeking the public's assistance in identifying the individual responsible for assaulting a federal officer and damaging government property near Alondra Boulevard in the city of Paramount, California. On June 7, 2025, at approximately 3:30 p.m., the suspect threw rocks at law enforcement vehicles on Alondra Boulevard in Paramount, California, injuring a federal officer and damaging government vehicles. SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS If you have any information concerning this case, please contact the FBI at 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225-5324), your local FBI office, the nearest American Embassy or Consulate, or you can submit a tip online at tips.fbi.gov. Field Office: Los Angeles

Worth noting that the person who turned in Luigi did not get paid.

Wayne County community rally amid ICE raid at restaurant Newswatch 16's Emily Kress spoke with people in the Honesdale community who are shaken after watching three restaurant employees get detained.

"It's really hard to fathom that the guy making my pizza for 25 years is a gangster and a terrorist, and the person who shows up in an unmarked car wearing a mask and body armor comes to take him away is somehow the good guy” www.wnep.com/article/news...

“Currently, there is no plan for where everyone is sleeping tonight,” the source said, adding that there was an urgent need to find more portable bathrooms and dumpsters for garbage.

Can you image if every team was posting in this site? AND with proper alt text? 😭😭😭

Wow babe are you Zelda because your breath is wild

A tweet by Joyce Carol Oates reading "over-all takeaway from the Curtis Yarvin profile is that there must be millions of smart-aleck show-offy kids who annoy their teachers & go on to annoy other adults through their lives with their "contrarian" pose that hardens to a carapace over their faces; until, as adults, they still harbor a delusion that, if there is a king, or a fűhrer, he'd be impressed with the guy's motor mouth & appoint him to his cabinet rather than deleting him with a negligent swipe of his wrist as Stalin did routinely."

You don't have to like her but when she cooks she's Anthony Bourdain

Becoming the joker doesn't cut it anymore. I need something worse to become

You let one ant stand up to us, then they all might stand up! Those puny little ants outnumber us a hundred to one and if they ever figure that out there goes our way of life! It's not about food, it's about keeping those ants in line

if you tried to pitch A Bug’s Life today Disney would chop you up and feed you to Bob Iger

you know how sometimes there's a sneeze that you just can't pull the trigger on but you can feel it in there and it keeps almost happening over and over and then suddenly, at long last, it actually blasts off and you're like JESUS FUCKING CHRIST FINALLY. yea same. anyway, Jared Leto is in the news,

I believe elves are real and steal my toenail clippings

once again struck by the fact that local news reporters' sympathies are largely with the protesters and families and against the federal government

every time an ice agent dies, an angel gets its wings

I'm supposed to believe economists are smart when they're admitting to sex crimes in public arguing with a chatbot

been workshopping a new way to stand that will make me seem more normal

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Early official Mario figurines notably interpreted character designs in unique ways. An officially licensed 1985 Super Mario Bros. capsule machine figurine depicts a Bullet Bill as calm, perhaps even amiable-looking.