𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨

You look at a location on booking dot com out of interest and get a team of salespeople ramming a tree trunk at your front door screaming “your trip won’t book itself”

Businesses, what makes you think an email announcing
“Your bill is here!” in a saccharine manner, makes it any less unwelcome.

I imagine a burglar doing jazz hands at me while they abscond with my life savings.

Use a flea comb to snag them, then tweeze them. You can pop them with great satisfaction but feeding them to your spider pals is 10/10

a man wearing glasses and a vest with the olympic rings on it is laughing . ALT: a man wearing glasses and a vest with the olympic rings on it is laughing .

And we said nothing

Today, I was laughing around with my 15 year old son, taking bad photos & saying I was going to publish them in a book, “like that Beckham lad” i said, trying to be relevant.
“Who?” He asked.
“Erm, Brooklyn Beckham. David Beckham’s errant son.”
“WHO is David Beckham?”

I have never felt so old.

Retract: I bought 500g THEY’RE SO EXPENSIVE

My Pa indulged me & sisters with Lindt kittens & Teddies whenever he travelled & later, started buying us the mini eggs at easter. They represent fun indulgence of inner kid.

They’re good but they aint my childhood

a man with glasses is holding a burning dollar bill and says ha ALT: a man with glasses is holding a burning dollar bill and says ha

I’m going to order a kilo of Lindt mini eggs.

I think the only real way for my mum to understand boundaries is through not sharing this realm. I’ve had so many conversations with her over the years. Have gone entire years no contact. Wanted her to love her grandchildren but she isn’t capable of any of it at all.

It’s ok. But these are aspirations and not sticks to beat ourselves with.

Twas a difficult childhood, for sure. Had many years of therapy. My mum seems to think because we had cherry trees & geese it was idyllic.. whitewashing, Jilly Cooper style.

Yeah, i’m ok. It’s perplexing at times.

We can hardly stop that happening!

Works. Is a bit.. despiderising. I wonder how they individually feel about being mislabelled 😂

She’s not much of a boundary respecter so the yards of text message keep coming.. I just take it like it’s an interesting saga series in a magazine and then talk to my therapist.

Well I just asked her if she’s on her deathbed, making confessions from peccadilloes. I am ok, if intrigued by the way our relationship lurches on.

I think women lose connections with friends when they’re in unhappy relationships and their beloved children are accidentally the audience

Oh I do. I actually loathe that poem as well. Parents are rarely malicious even when they get things wrong. They’re just adult kids winging it, same throughout humanity.

I don’t know it, so it would be a ‘read’. Is it moralistic? I don’t blame my Mum for her choices, I wasn’t in her head. I just .. don’t need the confession (esp when I already knew)

Rural childhood in the 80s to a divorced set up. My mum had an affair & left my dad & today has confided another affair spanning a decade (I always suspected). My Dad wasn’t innocent either but goddamit what do I do with this information now? All it confirms is deceptive patterns.

Always an exciting moment when we see les grues (the cranes) flying north over our part of France… a sign that spring is on the way.

Wolfgang does though

Boris is a classic spider name. He might have lived with us too. Maybe they move house?

In an effort to ever-so-gently annoy a colleague I've been calling all machines and tech at work The Apparatus. Should The Apparatus be doing that? Are you finished with The Apparatus? I have woken this morning to an email written and sent after midnight requesting me to stop.

I never thought it, but isn’t Willow a perfect spider name!!!

It helps reduce the menace I find. Although I really wish they could be slightly less erratic.

Too quick for one, I expect

That is a good spider name

They are super cute!