jo 🌻

Not being weird about it! Anyone can do it!

Every funny joke I’ve ever heard from a cis person about trans people has come from a place of loving and being in community with trans people. My cis friends can roast me to filth because they understand my life. Haters simply don’t have the stuff

My stupid life has such unnecessary drama like why do I have an actual enemy who might not even know she’s my enemy???

don’t fuck the boots

Yee haw

Subway takes man: Alright so what's your take
Doctor: I think you should put the lime in the coconut and drink them both down
Subway takes man: I gotta agree 100%!!

it is so so so so funny that last year I told someone I had a crush on them and they said they weren’t interested in me like that but they were super flattered because they know I only pull baddies what an incredible reputation I have

the jerk store called. they’re running out of you. isn’t that courteous of them? can’t remember the last time a retailer called me to warn me that their stock was low on some high ticket item like you are at the jerk store

my brain shorted out after “tall woman”

the whiplash of being handed a thirty percent cash tip while getting misgendered

had a bar guest tonight have such a good time that we hugged when she left how did I do that what power do I have

WHY WOULD YOU POST THIS

I don’t think you heard me I said women

women

literally come over then

women

(Marty’s and Saturday dumpling company tho)

Go to lunch

Yuzable nuz

can’t sleep so I thought up an entire new cocktail menu for my job, a task no one asked for and that I have no authority to move forward with

heyyy kermie

the real “twilight zone”?? the goth girl reading this

my brain whenever it rains

petition to bring back cigarette moms

where

Charlie Brown has hoes and you cannot hunt wolves

what is the maximum amount of bolo ties a woman can own and remain heterosexual asking for a friend

Why are you, as a lesbian, noticing a little sunburn on my biceps unless you are fantasizing about me picking you up and spinning you around?

if you ever get the chance to have dinner and get a little bit drunk as an adult with one of your favorite teachers from high school, I would recommend it

But the handful of hills are friggin doozies