Matt

Industry is the only show I trust to get an accurate replica of one of H*tl*r’s paintings without being pro-that guy which is impressive considering, well

I just don’t think it’s normal that my car battery dies every winter but maybe it’s normal to be stranded for hours in a gas station waiting for a tow truck once a year

A Christmas Carol-style play where Charlie Kirk haunts Erika into being a morally decent person

Sticking these at the bar 🫡

An actual picture of me after using my power drill to build a shoe rack

I love route 2 I do 60 in the right lane and everyone else is stupid 🥰

When I was a little boy, I always dreamed of fiscal responsibility so that I could be rich in 40 years

Vodka in that Fiji bottle

🤷‍♂️

Dry January + 2 extra weeks was a success (I will learn nothing from this)

This Boomer-style posting

Hope she gets to say microwave like that again

Boston picked a great year to host this thing lol

California will deal with him 🙂‍↕️

Went to the public market to see my friend who has a pizza place there just to gossip for 2 hours & not buy anything I feel like a loser 😭

Last I was asked to temp as a bartender. Tonight I was asked to host trivia during winter to help them save money. In between developing their new events. At this point they just need to pay me to sit there

Helped close the bar last night & my bartender tells me as we’re leaving, “you look thinner! You look taller!” girl, I’m just teetotaling not taking Flintstone vitamins 😭

Entirely unnecessary crowd at Market Basket overbuying groceries. But I do love this New England tradition

Natalie from The Americans on #ThePitt last night proving once again she only needs a few minutes of screen time to make an impact

6 vials of blood and I am WOOZY (I’m fine)

They seem more committed to me

The man next to me at the stop light had a Make Men Men Again sticker on his car so I called him a slur 🤷‍♂️

Maybe I'll finally watch Sinners this weekend

Saying it at all is still good but an incredibly low bar to clear 😞

Doc Martin is only good when he’s hot (I’m watching Best Medicine)

To the trans woman on this hiring committee with me wearing a Godsmack t shirt, I see you and I love that you wore that for all of these candidates to see

Need someone to come to my house and fix my complicated TV wiring situation it’s only like 6 different things that need to be plugged in at all times

Donkey Kong Country Returns keeps returning but never the Kremlings 😔