Michael Stanclift

This Marc Maron guy seems pretty cool, won’t be long before he has his own podcast.

This is an absolute betrayal to people who faithfully served their country. There is not a single Republican on earth who gets to utter the lie that they “care about our troops” now

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

This trend of making Funyuns in flavors other than funyun needs to stop.

CONTENT ADVISORY: PLEASE BE WARNED THAT THE DEADLINE FOR ALL POSTS ABOUT "AMERICAN EAGLE" AND "SYDNEY SWEENEY" HAS PASSED. IF YOU ARE FOUND IN VIOLATION YOU WILL BE FINED 1500 CLOUT POINTS AND A LABUBU.

My four year old just announced to the entire Costco that I farted.

I may just leave her here.

Is it nap time yet?

Two things every dad of multiple children should be proficient in: car seat installation, and basic bike assembly. 🫡

In their defense, the authors of the Constitution could never have predicted that American voters would be this stupid.

I have a tendency to try and optimize for the 99.5% of things when the 95% will do.

One might think that undermining trust in the economic reporting of the United States would trigger an impeachment investigation. This is literally bringing the word of the United States into question.

You can never have enough mayonnaise.

I will not be taking questions at this time.

You can always tell when I am being serious and when I'm joking because I will always include "thank you for your attention to this matter" at the end of my post.

Wrong. It never works on the first try. This must be AI.

I genuinely don’t know if they’re this dumb or pretending to be this dumb because Trump is this dumb.

It was for me. This was just his unsolicited commentary.

My 13yo is standing here telling me that I don't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich correctly.

"You need to put peanut butter on BOTH pieces of bread and then jelly in the middle."

This is just what my life is going to be like from now on. Isn't it?

I need to start watching season 3 of Strange New Worlds very soon. Avoiding spoilers on social media is getting increasingly difficult.

It's really funny learning Trump has had exactly one friend in his whole life. And even funnier to learn who it was.

The role of Tony Fauci in this episode of Trump 2: The Unraveling, will be played by Jerome Powell.

German and Polish officials reportedly devastated to miss out on future Intel layoffs.

Remember when Greenland was a thing we were doing?

You know how broken our political system is when a man who’s clearly deranged holds the highest office and the people who could remove him from that office continue to support him with gusto.

Discovered that the master bedroom door on the family Airbnb rental doesn't have a lock.

IYKYK

Screenshot from Andrew Wang on X calling Ozzy an “American Original”

Bigger than The Beatles.

Banana, beef jerky, two Oatmeal Cream Pies, coffee. Breakfast of champions.

People of Kansas City, we're just taking today off after that night of non-stop thunder, right?

"the ideas were more grounded in science fiction than in actual science and the grip on reality was tenuous at best. 'What this sort of crystallized for me... was that these tech guys — who people think of as knowing a lot about science — actually, don’t really know anything about science at all.'"

Checking out HyperYapper

Ran out of my regular coffee this morning so I’m forced to drink decaf before noon today, like an animal.