Do NOT eat two frozen grape uncrustables before intense cardio training. You might almost Frow Up.

Riding my bike in this weather has me feeling like spunch bop delivering that pizza

Also: oat milk over anything else. Bring the troops home.

Underrated breakfast technique: combine cereals to create a stronger, better cereal. I ate protein strawberry cheerios and banana special k for breakfast and it would blow the brain out the back of your skull.

Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, wore a white Addidas tracksuit on the day he was to kill a king.

Carter has passed. An accomplished man. A brilliant legacy. Although for many of us he died years ago when he refused to condemn, gamer gate

Im 100% certain in another universe the American South didn't develop NASCAR, but instead developed an Appalachian rally series. Get through those mountains as fast as you can, with as much moonshine as you can. And God what I would give to have that today.

The only solution is to work up enough gusto to stand up and turn on the lights fast enough that I can see the bomb before it goes off, catching it in the act of trying to explode me.

Fun fact about me is my sleep paralysis demon is just a bomb hidden somewhere in my bedroom that will go off if I move a single muscle.