fleurassic park refleurth

I am tired of learning things and it is very rude of people to keep making me

More like chonkymunk, my boy is ready to hibernate

She doesn’t care for Greenies, which is very inconvenient since my last dog would have gladly eaten poison if it was in one of their pill pouches

Hi yeah I know we had plans tonight and I was perfectly sincere when I made them, but I forgot to check with my dog first and she doesn’t think i should go, so. My hands are tied

It has taken half the day and a variety of inducements, but Natalia Ilyinichna has finally consumed 90% of her anti-flea chew

R and I call this the Inflatable House

Weird how Halloween decorations feel more joyful than Christmas ones

It’s frickin bats

Good evening Austin

I’m going to have to start watching football so I can keep up at the cardio rehab water cooler

We never give her belly rubs either

A leader whose time has come

Well articulated, I thought

A special message from Natalia Ilyinichna

Genuinely don’t know why I still love The Wire so much when there is literally no one to like or root for except Bubbles, after D’Angelo and Wallace got killed

I’ve gone full boomer now and looked at urban dictionary, that’s the only one I saw. I am baffled

Losing my mind over this text from a former housemate I haven’t spoken to in years (we didn’t part acrimoniously, just lost touch). She means someone who made Vines? Or does it mean something else? Why would that be rude?? How would I still be a “Viner” in present tense??? HOW DID THIS EVEN COME UP

If your email to me starts with “Sorry for the delay” it had damn well better not continue “, Morgan”

“I’m a valve nerd.” — cardio rehab nurse

Listen for the Lie, by Amy Tintera, is not my usual thing but it was particularly good on audio

A few that I’ve particularly enjoyed in audio format: Miss Benson’s Beetle, by Rachel Joyce; The Blacktongue Thief, by Christopher Buehlman; Dark, by Caitlin Rozakis. Happy to drill down into any specific genres

I still miss the headphone jack man, I do not love cordless ones. Also eSIMs are bullshit

I realize what a privileged whine this is, but switching to a new phone is so manifestly not worth the effort that I will use this one until it crumbles into dust

SNIFF HAPPENS
(Just pass me)

I don’t think I’ve ever had a bumper sticker on my actual bumper but I’m thinking of getting one that says something like “I don’t care if you think I’m driving slow, my dog wants to sniff”

We’re going on two months since The Heart Incident and the hospital is still finding things to bill me for

(This post definitely not written by Natalia)

The cavalier behavior of squirrels around my warrior princess dog makes me think they have gotten too cocky and I should release her to eat a few and thereby correct the natural balance

Pretty sure some lines of cat code accidentally got copied into Natalia’s dog software