david_aux

I'm tired of being tired 💀

Poor little guy is severely hungover

I can't stop being angry at that Samsnug commercial where the 20-something guy wakes up in a large bedroom at 8:00, goes on a morning run at 8:30, and has a "team meeting" scheduled for 10:00. Life ain't that luxurious for us not-morning people.

'm back! (sung to the tune of MMMBop)

I could really use a motivational playlist of "opening montage scene where main character gets ready in the morning" songs.

The Mighty Mighty Deftones

I saw this button the other day. Surely there's an amazing pun here somewhere, but it eludes me.

I have 50 bsky followers. Where's my affiliate? >:(

Last-minute reminder to donate to your favorite trusted charities for the 2024 year!

String Cheese is the winner! She's so tiny.

They've been fighting over who gets to gnaw my eyelids out all morning :3

David Lynch on set speaking into a megaphone, captioned “Okay, let’s try that again, but this time good.”

me narrowing my eyes at 2025 like

I didn't know Nosferatu growing up. Once, I saw a license plate say NOS4R2 and thought it was a campaign to give R2-D2 a nose.

What was the "beer before egg nog" rhyme again?

Starting to get sick of that pop-up window that says "You're leaving the mission area!" whenever I take a bathroom break at work.

I want my eternal legacy to be like how they do it in Breath of the Wild. Name a random-ass hill after me but with 1 or 2 misspellings.

On my way to go PBBZBBTHBTHBP in front of hundreds of senior citizens for two hours.

The cat has spoken: my right shoe is worthy of noms, but my left shoe is REALLY worthy of noms.

Correct That's right! Kindness is not one of the British Values

Autocorrect is a human right.

Boomhauerang

In King of the Hill, there are three Boomhauers. Some episodes have one Boomhauer, others have the third Boomhauer. They never show the second Boomhauer.

Nobody took the bait, grrrrr.

"But David, the Tin Man was the one that didn't have the heart, not the Scarecrow."

Correct. Anyone with a brain would know that.

I'm secretly the Scarecrow from Oz, but I don't have the heart to tell anybody.

*checks notes* Kraven the Hunter.

Mario Card

Post-Culture Review @PostCultRev ORSON WELLES: This Super Mario, he is the true exemplar of the "holy fool." He does not truly love, he does not even think, he is purely devoted to a false ideal INTERVIEW: And Luigi? ORSON WELLES: I met him at a party once and he struck out with Anne Bancroft. Horrid little man.

🎵 All she wants to do is, all she wants to do is nap! 🎵

Thank you, thank you. That song parody was based on me.