Danny Lavery

You really don’t have to stop spending time on your phone this year. If you do decide to spend less time on your phone, by no means should you discuss it with others. There is a time to keep silence, and a time to speak! In a similar vein, don’t start keeping lists of all the books you read. You will not get more enjoyment from listing a book than you did from reading it. If your profile includes a sentiment like “I like older men” on hookup apps, you should be aware that at least 50% of your audience is going to read that as “I like the oldest men.” If you do not seek this outcome, find another way to phrase it.

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Advice Everyone Should Follow I'm planning on getting around to some of these myself

Advice for Everyone

Do your best not to lie, within reason. When you are caught in a lie, admit to it instantly, and if possible, cheerfully. In this way you will still be able to maintain a reputation for honesty

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The Sad Butler Movie Index (If the Butler Movie breaks on the side of emphasizing dignity, it’s sad; if it breaks on the side of emphasizing hauteur, it’s happy.)

the Sad Butler Movie Index is up

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The platonic equivalent of r/deadbedrooms and friendship crop rotation "This creates its own problem when all your friends have known you for the same length of time, like how farmers need to practice crop rotation or else they’ll wear out the soil."

“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.”

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The platonic equivalent of r/deadbedrooms and friendship crop rotation "This creates its own problem when all your friends have known you for the same length of time, like how farmers need to practice crop rotation or else they’ll wear out the soil."

“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.”

open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

Signs You're A Doctor In A Midcentury Novel “Have you still got those yellow pills I gave you?” “Your father’s heart is weak. You must never tell him this; it would weaken his heart.” “The best prescription I can offer him is someone who be...

“Have you still got those green pills I gave you?”

“We mustn't worry him with technical talk. The worst thing for this sort of case is discussion.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. If you need a prescription, I’ll go so far as to say you ought to be married.”

www.thechatner.com/p/signs-your...

Everything Beebo Brinker Eats and Drinks in the 1962 Lesbian Pulp Classic "Beebo Brinker" You'd never guess how many times Beebo Brinker defiantly drinks milk in the lesbian pulp fiction "Beebo Brinker" Chronicles.

you would not believe how often the titular butch in lesbian pulp classic "Beebo Brinker" drinks a glass of milk defiantly at someone

www.thechatner.com/p/everything...

They Got Me At Last. I Became A Cyclist “I’m just like you,” I want to say, instead of “On your left.” This isn’t who I am, not really. It’s not the wheels, but the feet that matter.

"To hear someone call out “On your left” with no hope of friendly eye contact, to have to leap out of the way lest they jangle their hateful little bell at you — without those little courtesies, I become an animal. I would happily kill and kill again."

www.thechatner.com/p/they-got-m...

Nightingale Wood is so damn good man

A Biblical Exegesis of P.D. Eastman's "Go, Dog, Go" "Work, dogs, work!" Exodus 5:9: “Let more work be laid on them, that they may labor in it.”

A green dog over a tree. A yellow dog under a tree.

John 1:48: “Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”

www.thechatner.com/p/a-biblical...

[offended] From time to time I may be at his beck. But I certainly am not at his call

What Every Non-Fiction Book Is Called Now we all remember the “tiny things we know to be small” title crisis of 2022 but we ought not overlook nonfiction titles like

nonfiction titles today:

First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy

www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...

What Every Non-Fiction Book Is Called Now we all remember the “tiny things we know to be small” title crisis of 2022 but we ought not overlook nonfiction titles like

nonfiction titles today:

First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy

www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...

you are under no obligation to believe this, but the movie playing in the lounge for transgender night at the gay bathhouse this weekend was harry potter and the chamber of secrets. incredible move

The Best Lines From John Collier's "His Monkey Wife" "Mr. Bernard Shaw would have been delighted. So was the chimp.”

"Who would have thought that beneath that rather Charlotte Brontë exterior, there was actually a Charlotte Brontë interior, full of meek pride, hopeless hope, and timid determination?"

www.thechatner.com/p/the-best-l...

YES

he was baffled and furious every time. and there were so many guitars

he waled the hell out of me man

the baby experienced the full spectrum of baby feelings today: joy, curiosity, gentleness, destruction, chicken, not allowed to touch guitar, weeping, laughing, leg stuck in crib, bath time, fear of Santa, throwing almonds in car, realizing he can hit me with a tennis racket, yelling at bedtime

"The Shop Around The Corner" Without Any Christmas or Romance Is Still A Pretty Good Movie About Luggage Inventory “That’s a new silver fox!

“That’s a new silver fox! It’s stunning.”

“Thank you.”

“It must have been pretty expensive.”

“It was.”

"The Shop Around The Corner" Without Any Christmas or Romance Is Still A Pretty Good Movie About Luggage Inventory

www.thechatner.com/p/the-shop-a...

one of the many upsides of sleeping with much older men is they often text "copy that" when confirming the time of an assignation

I’ve also been living in pretty sandwich expensive cities for the last ten years which informs my sense of what’s normal

Books That Will Never Change Your Life Here is a list of books that will never try to change your life.

because I like consistency and reasonable quality and shared taste; I like a well-made shoe and a twelve-dollar sandwich and driving a safe, popular car, I have made a list of books that will never change your life. They are all reasonably good:

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I assume you were rightly repulsed by the cowardice of making it a step relationship?

Love's Work in "Go, Dog, Go" Do you like my hat?

"Do you like my hat?" and "There is no democracy in any love relation: only mercy." Love's Work in Go, Dog, Go

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"Potatoes matter to me": An Excerpt From Meeting New People "Potatoes matter to me. It’s important to treat them with respect. People matter to me too, but I think it’s much better to focus on one thing at a time."

“Potatoes matter to me. It’s important to treat them with respect. People matter to me too, but I think it’s better to focus on one thing at a time, rather than splitting your attention across everything you care about.”

Meeting New People comes out June 2nd

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What It Feels Like to Not Have to Write Something Down No :) I don’t need to do that right now :)

No :) I don’t need to do that right now :)

I’ll remember it

I'll remember it because it's important :)

www.thechatner.com/p/what-it-fe...

The Worst Part About Publishing a Book in 2025 Is The New Kind of Spam I don’t like getting spam emails as a general rule, but they’re usually pretty easy to filter and don’t cause more than a momentary spasm of irritation:

book PR scam copy has gotten just better enough in the last year that it drives me insane. I can't handle the extra five seconds of sleuthing before sending to spam!

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Everything the Baby Currently Believes to be Basketball The baby has recently entered into the age of fixations.

It will not surprise you to learn that our nineteen-month-old has a charming and idiosyncratic way of saying the phrase “basketball hoop”: he says “Ba-ka-baa hoo.” He says it often and with great conviction.
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...

"Every five years between 1977-1989 and 1998-2015 sees a new Sorcerer sequel set in a different country with a different method of freight handling. This includes the movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles"