snake the jake

pointing directly at the bartending and mouthing “witness me” as i shotgun my 14th modelo and climb unsteadily up on my stool

my car’s engine failing is a plot by the deep state to keep me from buying switch 2 to play donkey kong bananaboat

“debate me bro” how about instead i cast you into the black fields of boiling pitch overseen by the blind eyes of yaldabaoth

what if instead of judge dredd he was judge nice and he just wanted to hang out

i think most period pieces would be improved by the presence of kung fu

the man of shapes and angles

this is legit the reason that the new dune products (both the villeneuve films and the shitty HBO show) refuse to use the word “jihad” because american audiences associate it with evil islamic terrorism lol

see son’s greetings

seat thief

average listening to paysage d’hiver experience: 5 minutes of the sound of wind blowing before being slapped in the face by the most oppressive and evil riff in existence (complimentary)

in hindsight free willy is an insane premise for a film and even crazier to make multiple sequels out of. what was going on in the 90s

appropriating the theme for @tomwalker.bsky.social’s internet deep dive into a song to sing at my cat

like father like son

the fact that smoking cigarettes is bad for you is proof that god is dead

at the show tonight the guitar player for kruelty said “let’s fuck this shit down” and that has immediately entered my lexicon

bro it’s okay that you need ai to help you write an email. anubis has weighed your soul against the feather of fate and found you unworthy. prepare to be devoured

case in point

if there’s one universal truth i’ve learned it’s that in life, sometimes there is a creature

the man behind winkie’s is the demiurge and the elderly couple are his archons

evolution gave this guy stripes. “oh it will help him blend in with the grasses of the savannah, disguising him from both predators and prey.” ?????
this man lives in my house. they have played us for absolute fools

what da cat doin

listening to spirit possession now but think i might listen to DEMON SLUICE next huh

got an email today about logging into my chatgpt enterprise account that i have access to through work and i’ve never deleted anything faster in my life

many such cases

FARTING WITH RECKLESS ABANDON AND WITHOUT REGARD TO MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS

(joker voice) i’m a man of my word

don’t mind me if i just head on down to the pub for a pint and a philadelphia style cheesed steak

Making deplorable moves in contemptible silence, the rapacious grind slumbers not

the nightclub scene in basic instinct is one of the funniest set pieces i’ve seen in a while. the music, the dancing, michael douglas’s absurdly deep v-neck sweater — that’s movie magic