dr. xtine

Will you free my Palestine?

I wish I had mucha novia

We didn't say body cams on ICE. Their murders are already on video. We said no more ICE.

Obama was the reason game of thrones was good

Shit might be bad but at least I won’t be injecting myself with a knockoff medication that makes it easier to consume the recommended daily caloric intake of a toddler so that my body will be acceptable to men who are attracted to teenagers.

For now on let’s just only have hot mayors

The only thing I really miss about 2016 is that it was the last year Game of Thrones was good

2016 was my least favorite time in pop culture. But I still do love high waisted skinny jeans

Please help my comrade in Gaza get dental treatment 🖤

um, hey guys it almost seems like some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.

semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003

when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out

The Cock is hard to quit!

I hope the guy who, after a month and a half of communication and a verbal agreement on the rent, denied us a new apartment on Christmas Eve (exactly a week before we were supposed to move) gets visited by 3 spirits tonight.

(Don’t worry, our landlord hadn’t found new tenants yet. Not homeless.)

This means Taylor is about to cover “Stronger” by Kanye like Marnie on Girls

Later we’ll have some fuckin’ pie, and we’ll do some caroling

Getting around to watching the final show. Cutting folklore and evermore short was a rookie mistake. Those were the best parts of the show

It used to be that calling someone a nazi or saying they killed puppies was one of the worst insults labout someone’s character. Now you’d just be objectively describing a government official.

A bidet attachment! I can’t believe I ever lived without one before

Someone explain why my toddler keeps shouting “Et tu DADA?” 🤣🤣

My daughter was listening to music and then tripped and fell and started crying and then immediately stood up and started like cry-dancing and I’ve never seen so much of myself in her before 🤣

Is anyone else singing the beginning of “No Good Deed” as femininomenon and on and on a femininomen? Just me?

New Yorkers BLOCK ICE from leaving their parking garage ahead of a flopped mass raid attempt on Canal Street

Yes pleaseeeeeeeee!!!!!

If you’re buying gifts, shop small, go to mutual aid and artists markets and shop at small family owned businesses. But also, if you wait all year to buy the things that you and your family need because they’re considerably cheaper this week, I think that’s also fine.

Introduce yourself with the last 5 concerts you saw

Bayside
Mayday Parade
Coheed & Cambria w/ Mastadon
Mae Martin
Katie Gavin

(Also a joke, these are things said to me as a mom of one)

-If you have more than one they’ll just entertain each other!
-The long term partners can help you with the new ones.
-How is he going to learn to share?
-Congrats on your wedding! When are you gonna start planning the next one?

Questions to monogamous people:

-Isn’t that kind of selfish? Your partner is going to end up being spoiled and greedy.
-Haven’t you heard of the male loneliness epidemic? You really should give him a friend.
-I knew someone growing up who was monogamous and they were really weird.

(This is sarcasm. These are all things people say to polyamorous folks).