crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️

watching friends kick absolute ass is the greatest joy of running events. everybody stream kaijubride

call me transdor folks

within 5 minutes of being in this uber i hit it off with this 50-something year old driver and he’s been rambling about italy and jersey for 20 minutes now. i truly do make friends everywhere

about to get absolutely fleeced on ubers to go play a show but at least my hair looks good

it would take 11 hours of bus rides to get somewhere an hour away from me lol

having stress-induced stomachaches is good for you, actually

i’m thinking of getting encased in amber for a century or two

5 or 6 years ago everybody was eating ass. 2-3 years ago everybody was drinking piss. and now nobody’s doing anything, because of woke

austin powers taught me everything i know

yet another orlando goth night featuring and assembled by yours truly!!!

this guy on kitchen nightmares looks like temu jigsaw

just accidentally claimed ian mcdiarmid played mcdreamy on grey's anotomy

my mom sent mcr lyrics as a reply to a tito photo

i’ve never been gross or crass and i’m not about to start now!!!

i'm behaving in a stately manner as my dick is sucked on a pool floatie, everyone is complimenting my dignified demeanor

saying "if your mom had 5 twins i'd call their pussies my favorite chain restaurant" to the last parking garage attendant in america because they won't reimburse me 4 dollars and 25 cents and immediately being shot with a pistol in the neck

cough drop would be a beautiful name for something i put in my mouth when i'm feeling unwell

many mountains are hollow inside and contain a single giant toy, sticker or charm of some kind, but they're banned in the US of A

if i had precious gems sought by all i would coat them with a poison, so that anybody thieving them would touch the poison rubies and succumb to the invisible harm. but then i’d forget i’d poisoned them one drunken night in my villa, and in a desire to feel close to true beauty i’d touch them, too

the keytar is a pervert instrument

this temple has me boned up!!!

say what you want about the movie, but with names like kit fisto, the introduction of shapeshifters, a monster clawing padme’s clothes to create a crop top, ki adi mundi’s head looking like a penis, and ewan mcgregor, george lucas was in his freak era while making attack of the clones

the children yearn for the bone temple!!!

you. me and dupree set to sweep oscars ceremony for “long-overdue” awards, sources say

just punctured the thin film of reality, nbd

he is glowing

george was dicking it down sexual style in the early 00s, no doubt in my mind

say what you want about the movie, but with names like kit fisto, the introduction of shapeshifters, a monster clawing padme’s clothes to create a crop top, ki adi mundi’s head looking like a penis, and ewan mcgregor, george lucas was in his freak era while making attack of the clones

i hate when i go to smoke a cartoon cigar and it explodes

if you ever have a son, should he reach fighting age, i WILL kick his ass!!!

delivered quietly