🔫 climp

This crappy hotel only has continental breakdance

“Get over here!” haha, just a little xennial humor. Let’s get this whale onboard.

Dad used to come out of the bathroom with his sleeve soaking wet and say he was just “shaking hands with the sewer man” and if you asked anything else he’d get real quiet

[Kneeling to examine droppings] These are fresh.
[sniff] From a butt.

Scientists at CERN have let the beam sweep across a sandwich to unlock a new form of lunch

Coinstar ate all my gravel again

Stay safe

If you’re not careful numbers can easily run in the thousands

Why wait? Get numbers instantly

In talks to purchase lunch

Error in Amadeus (1984), Mozart uses tap to pay to buy a coke zero, neither of which existed at the time the movie was made

I will lead you to the promised land rich in collectibles and points of interest

Call me Magellan the way I’m navigating these menu options

Thanks

Thanks for being cool about this

(Gun falls on the floor) that’s right, it’s my (kicks gun across the room) wait time out

That’s right, an ace (holds arm up to get the gun out the armpit)

ah but I have an ace up my sleeve (I struggle to shake a full size gun out of my shirt cuff. I start trying to squeeze it out like toothpaste)

[Dr. Jenga] oh god not again

Up until pretty recently Santa’s elves just made flint arrowheads

Just remember:
If quality’s your aim then words are your game
If quantity’s your goal then numbers you’ll use

Crossing yourself and kneeling at the register to receive your change

Thanks For Describing That Podcast.

“My Horrid Face All Day” (2025) oil on skin

It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck? The safest kind of train wreck?

You a cracker guy? We got soda, club, you name it. We got townhouse.

You’re not sure you still believe in the teachings of the Great Crystal, you say? Come, let’s discuss this closer to the edge of the Pit of Apostates.

C’mon man nobody is that pensive

As far as I can tell there is still work on the rails on both approaches, the switches to connect them, and a bunch of the ladders from the bridge bed down to the pylons. But I can only tell when I get on a car with new windows

I don't think the catenary lines are up end to end